I can't stop reading these Dadaist jokes written by children

Bad Kids Jokes is a Tumblr that offers exactly what the name promises. "I moderate jokes on a Kids Jokes website," the person behind it writes, as though "kids jokes websites" are a recognizable genre of website. "A lot of joke submissions can't be published because they don't make any sense, the child got a genuine joke completely wrong, or they're a bit too rude for kids … so I publish them here instead."

The result is 33 pages of child-penned Dadaist nonsense, much of it concerning bodily discharges and/or the perfidy of teachers, and all of it hysterical.

There's some zoological humor:

gess how many snakes there are

13

A lot of the jokes concern sports or other competitions, such as ham contests:

if you go to the ham contest wat will the man say

you won last year you are not alowed

Or bowling:

why did the skittle go bowling?

because he is part of bowling.

Given that the jokes are by children, a certain amount of butts-related content is to be expected:

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BALD MAN WITH A BUTT HEADED FACE?

The answer is butt man

As are challenges to teachers' authority:

a boys name is shut up. his teacher asked him his name and he said "shut up" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

This kid has intriguing beliefs about law enforcement:

why are policemen brave?

because they are robots

The author of this one has strong opinions about natural law:

A duck walks into a bar. A man runs out because its unnatural to have a duck in a bar.

I think this one is expressing progressive views on marriage equality but honestly it's hard to say:

why did tom and jerry get married

Because tom was a boy and jerry was a boy and they were strong as a toliet.

This one suggests the author is emotionally prepared for a lifetime of arguing on the internet:

man: you are evil

other man: i am not

man:yes

no

yes

no

yes

no

yes

no

yes

no

[both mans die]

Read the rest here. Happy weekend, everybody.

We're here to shed some clarity

One of our core beliefs here at Vox is that everyone needs and deserves access to the information that helps them understand the world, regardless of whether they can pay for a subscription. With the 2024 election on the horizon, more people are turning to us for clear and balanced explanations of the issues and policies at stake. We’re so grateful that we’re on track to hit 85,000 contributions to the Vox Contributions program before the end of the year, which in turn helps us keep this work free. We need to add 2,500 contributions this month to hit that goal. Will you make a contribution today to help us hit this goal and support our policy coverage? Any amount helps.

One-Time Monthly Annual

$5/month

$10/month

$25/month

$50/month

Other

$

Yes, I'll give $5/month

Yes, I'll give $5/month

We accept credit card, Apple Pay, and Google Pay. You can also contribute via