When Davi, a 20-year-old in Oakland, California, found out that their true gender identity — nonbinary, meaning neither male or female — was finally recognized by the state, they felt a sense of relief.
“I will feel like I don’t have to explain myself all of the time,” Davi said. “I will be so grateful, and less tired.”
Nonbinary gender identity is not recognized by most states. Last June, Oregon became the first to recognize a nonbinary gender option on driver’s licenses. Since the bill passed, Washington, DC, and three more states followed suit: Washington, New York, and California, which became the first state to allow nonbinary residents to change their gender on all relevant legal documents, including birth certificates, to a gender-neutral option.
For nonbinary youth like Davi, that means nothing less than a shift from nonexistence to existence in the eyes of the law. “Most people have the privilege of feeling that,” said Davi. “[They] probably do not even think about that concept.”
For my project “Transcending Self,” I photograph and interview trans youth from around the world; what follows are excerpts from interviews with young people who specifically identify as nonbinary (or, occasionally, “gender-expansive”). I focused on the question of what it meant for them to have their gender legally affirmed by the government. The conversations have been condensed and edited for clarity.
“It is not a one-size-fits-all solution.”
Kyla and Mya, 18, twins from Los Angeles, California
Kyla
I expressed my gender identity relatively late into my sophomore year. Before that point was two years of soul searching, a process I had mostly kept to myself. What I feared the most during this self-exploration was that maybe I was making it all up. Maybe I was a cisgender girl after all who was just looking for attention.
One of the first steps to accepting being nonbinary was realizing that first, my experiences are not made up, and second, I am not using them for attention. The reality is gender-nonconforming people aren’t looking for attention. We don’t get much attention in media or society to begin with, and if we do, it’s often dehumanizing and violent.
A few of my friends are currently applying for the new nonbinary ID option or have already received it. I’m glad they benefit. Like gay marriage, however, it is not a one-size-fits-all solution. The costs of changing one’s legal identification [can be] an added burden to the transition process. Transphobia hasn’t gone away — there is still much to be done to ensure every trans and nonbinary person has a safe and affirming life.
Mya
I entered college with the Trump candidacy and will graduate college with Trump —hopefully — leaving office. I have trans friends who are rushing to change their names on their government documents because they are not sure if they will be able to do that under Trump. I know others are de-transitioning. Everyone I know is gearing up to battle infringements on LGBT, people of color, women, disabled, the working-class people’s rights, intensified surveillance, increased brutality, and the rescinding of social safety nets.
I am on some levels protected because I come from a solidly upper-middle-class background, can attend college, and am often coded as white. However, I am also queer and trans. These next [few] years will be a time of solidarity, organizing, and resistance.
I have mixed feelings about the nonbinary option, and I don’t plan on changing my gender to neutral. We don’t need “inclusive” surveillance. Gender should be removed entirely from all IDs.
“I will be so grateful, and less tired, once this all happens.”
Davi, 20, Oakland, California
I believe and hope [this new law] will solve many challenges in this community. It will help this amazing community of people feel heard and empowered. I will feel that my gender is being validated. Most people have the privilege of feeling that, and probably do not even think about that concept.
I will feel like I don’t have to explain myself all the time, such as my name and my “birth name,” my sex, and my true gender identity. As soon as I am able to change my documents to match my name and gender identity, I will, and I will be so grateful and less tired once this all happens. It gets tiring having to explain myself all of the time on this topic.
I feel that we are stuck in a binary world. We have been for thousands of years. I don’t think that gender-neutral folk can be accepted by the majority of people in this world until there is complete gender equality within the gender binary. I know that sounds horrible, and I hate how it sounds, but many people in this world only know the gender binary. That is where inequalities are based.
“I wish boys and girls didn’t have to follow strict categories.”
Nicole, 10, Northern California (name changed to preserve anonymity)
I never really wanted to be a boy, but I do like boy things. But … I wish boys and girls didn’t have to follow strict categories. I think [the new California law] is a good law because if someone really doesn’t feel they are a boy or girl, they shouldn’t be forced to put down either. I want people to like me for being Nicole, myself. Not necessarily being a girl or boy. Just Nicole.
My parents let me wear what I want, unless the clothes are dirty and gross; [then] they force me to put clean clothes on. If your parents force you to wear girl clothes, then when you have the time, do what you want to do. Find places where you have the freedom to do what you want. I would like to kick bad parents in the face for forcing kids to be who they aren’t.
Right now, I’m used to writing that I’m a girl, but it’s a maybe. We will see when I grow how things go.
“I think most frustrating is the feeling of having no self-determination.”
Riley, 22, Lake Constance, Switzerland
Swiss law requires trans people to be sterilized in order to have legal gender recognition. Nonbinary people are not legally recognized.
It’s a process. I tried different labels to see if this fits for me, and now I kind of stuck with “agender.” And I believe that comes closest to describe me. I am just simply myself, a human being. I don’t need to conform. And it is not something you choose. I am not able to conform, because I already am who I am. I’m agender.
I think also a lot of it has to do with the frustration — I have no energy or interest in society telling me how I should look, what I should do with my body, and how I should behave, and all that. I’m tired of people constantly telling me I should be more manly, or, “If you want to be a woman, you should do that and that.” It’s exhausting, and I am not having it any longer. So for me, being agender is also a way of telling society to stop. It’s my body, my life — you have no say.
But I think most frustrating is the feeling of having no self-determination. For everything about you or your body, you have to wait for a doctor’s approval. Document changes, hormone replacement therapy, etc., takes a lot of time, energy, and money for what is mostly just waiting where some stranger has more rights about your body than you do.
I want to be able to make my own decisions for my own life and body without needing approval from several doctors — for example, for changing my name. It doesn’t make any sense why I need an endocrinologist’s and psychiatrist’s certificate to do so.
I want to say something for all the young transgender, intersex, questioning, and gender nonconforming people out there: You are valid. Your lives matter. You are so beautiful and you are so important — let no one ever tell you otherwise.
Annie Tritt is a freelance photographer based in New York and has since 2014 been working on “Transcending Self,” a project of photographs and interviews with nonbinary and transgender youth around the world. Follow her on Instagram here.
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