When Crazy Ex-Girlfriend throws out a really great song — and among its 101 songs, there are a lot of really great ones — there’s only one possible reaction: You cover your face with your hands, cringing and shaking with simultaneous laughter and tears, and you choke out, “Too real! Too real!”
The CW’s musical dramedy is one of the lowest-rated shows on television, but it’s beloved by critics, musical theater aficionados, and fans of an artfully deconstructed romantic comedy. It tells the story of Rebecca Bunch, a driven New York lawyer who throws away her career to follow an old crush to his suburban SoCal town and becomes a strip mall lawyer.
At first Rebecca sees her life as a Sleepless in Seattle-style romantic comedy, but over the course of three seasons, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has steadily poked hole after hole in her delusions, often by turning them into smart, sharp, funny-sad song parodies. And at their best, those songs skewer not only Rebecca’s delusions but the viewers’, too: that love will heal us, that our obsessions are selfless, and that our self-loathing makes us interesting.
Last Friday, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend officially released its 100th and 101st songs. In honor of the occasion, a group of Vox culture writers has joined forces to rank all 101 songs, from worst to best.
It was a tricky task. Ratings varied wildly from person to person: Because the fundamental appeal of a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend song is almost always the “too real!” factor, and everyone has a different “too real!” trigger, no one could agree on which songs were outstanding as opposed to merely good. Not a single song received perfect ratings from every panelist.
We began to judge each other over our voting. What did this person have against guest vocalist Bayne Gibby and her “I Feel Like This Isn’t About Me?” Why couldn’t that person see that “You Stupid Bitch” was a far more meaningful and powerful song than “It Was a Shit Show,” no offense, Greg?
After many rounds of voting, debating, and horse trading, we finally settled on a definitive, inarguable, and absolute ranking. (Do not @ us on Twitter.) Here is every song in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, ranked from worst to best.
101) “Where Is the Rock?”
“That Text Was Not Meant for Josh!” season 1, episode 11
This tiny song suffered from being a part of a cringe-inducing storyline. Great ’80s hair, though, gang. —Aja Romano
100) “Flooded With Justice (Reprise)”
“Josh and I Work on a Case!” season 1, episode 13
Though it’s a winning moment for Rebecca, this ensemble reprise is less Les Mis-y, and therefore less interesting, than its progenitor. —AR
99) “Let Me Call You Sweetheart”
“Who’s the Cool Girl Josh Is Dating?” season 2, episode 7
We probably didn’t need to see Paula’s husband’s barbershop quartet, but you have to admit, they have a sweet harmony. —Constance Grady
98) “Get Your Ass Out of My House”
“Nathaniel Needs My Help!” season 3, episode 9
Though the karaoke room is a fun conceit, Josh clearly needs repetition to absorb unpleasant ideas, which makes this a pretty boring song for the rest of us. —AR
97) “Cleanup on Aisle Four”
“Josh’s Sister Is Getting Married!” season 1, episode 16
This fun little barely-a-song gets a huge boost from Greg’s obnoxious gloating in the background — not to mention the timely intervention of Grocery Clerk With Half an Eyelid. —CG
96) “My Sperm Is Healthy”
“Nathaniel Needs My Help!” season 3 episode 8
This characteristically silly Darryl rap gets some credit for its commitment to the gag, but we’re ultimately with Mrs. Hernandez on this one: Oh god, this is gonna be gross. —Genevieve Koski
95) “Makey Makeover”
“When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?” season 2, episode 4
In theory, a makeover montage as cheer routine sounds fun, but in practice, this song is just monotonous at a level that even Rachel Bloom’s chipper delivery of “I had a stroke!” cannot salvage. —CG
94) “Duh!”
“Who Is Josh’s Soup Fairy?” season 2, episode 8
Josh’s songs often revolve around the joke that he’s not that bright. This is not the best iteration of that idea. —CG
93) “Math of Love Triangles Reprise”
“Josh Is the Man of My Dreams, Right?” season 2, episode 11
With barely more than 15 seconds to work with, this reprise could only pack so much of a punch — but it still makes an impression, thanks to Stephnie Weir’s wide-eyed mania on the riff’s final twist. —Caroline Framke
92) “Thought Bubbles (Reprise)”
“Why Is Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Eating Carbs?” season 2, episode 5
A good Josh song is always like Josh himself — a little fluffy, a little vacant, and straight to the point. —AR
91) “Scary Scary Sexy Lady”
“Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Is Crazy.” season 3, episode 4
We all know feminine anger is most palatable when it’s positioned as sexy and dangerous, and this short song makes up in aesthetic what it lacks in, uh, song-ness. —AR
90) “Triceratops Ballet”
“Why Is Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Eating Carbs?” season 2, episode 5
A dream ballet is a classic movie musical trope, but this one is a pretty flat joke that goes on way too long. —CG
89) “This Is My Movement”
“Josh Is Irrelevant.” season 3, episode 6
This is a two-minute-long poop joke. It’s fine. —CG
88) “One Indescribable Instant”
“Paula Needs to Get Over Josh!” season 1, episode 18
Sure, the climactic season one finale song is a little cheesy, but as sung by actual Disney princess Lea Salonga, it’s the perfect gushy, melodramatic capper for a Rebecca-Josh epiphany. —AR
87) “West Covina (Second Reprise)”
“I’m Going to the Beach With Josh and His Friends!” season 1, episode 9
The perpetual refrain of “West Covina” throughout season one gets 100 times more fun when Josh is involved. —AR
86) “What a Rush to Be a Bride”
“Can Josh Take a Leap of Faith?” season 2, episode 13
There’s a reason Crazy Ex-Girlfriend doesn’t evoke nu-metal very often, but this one gets some mileage out of the dissonance between subject matter and musical style, particularly Bloom’s all-in scream delivery of, “Love is patient love is kind.” —GK
85) “Period Sex”
“All Signs Point to Josh ... or Is It Josh’s Friend?” season 2, episode 3
As necessary as this sex-positive song is, it was undeniably more effective when teased throughout several episodes in perpetually interrupted snippets. —CF
84) “Dear Joshua Felix Chan”
“I’m Back at Camp With Josh!” season 1, episode 10
Rebecca’s camp letter confession is equal parts sweet and embarrassing, but it’s 100 percent Rebecca. —AR
83) “Santa Ana Winds”
“Josh Is the Man of My Dreams, Right?” season 2, episode 11
This cheeky song has the distinction of being the only one on the show sung by an incorporeal object — a devious, forest-fire-spreading, mystical trickster who appears unto us in the shape of a doo-wop-crooning would-be Rat Packer. It’s random, winsome, and fun. —AR
82) “Where’s Rebecca Bunch?”
“Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Wants Revenge,” season 3, episode 1
The charm of this amusing musical village ensemble wears thin after a verse or two as Rebecca decides to transform herself into a Woman Scorned. But that’s the genius of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend — as with Rebecca herself, we come for the facade and stay for the messiness. —AR
81) “My Friend’s Dad”
“Getting Over Jeff.” season 3, episode 7
This cutesy Shirley Temple number returns to the well-trod ground of Rebecca’s daddy issues without adding much new. —CG
80) “We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now”
“Where Is Josh’s Friend?” season 2, episode 1
Rebecca and Josh’s awkward, bubbly chemistry usually serves their story well, but it can’t quite carry a steamy number about uncontrollable sexual passion. —CG
79) “Could If I Wanted To Reprise”
“When Will Josh See How Cool I Am?” season 2, episode 2
Greg’s bitter reprise is so brief it doesn’t even show up on YouTube, but it’s an effective and timely reminder of why he’ll be much happier away from West Covina and Rebecca, much as the audience might want him to stay. —CG
78) “I Feel Like This Isn’t About Me”
“I Never Want to See Josh Again,” season 3, episode 5
Turning over a musical number to an unknown character is always a bit of a gamble for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but the pointed slightness of this song — and Bayne Gibby’s appropriately aloof delivery — makes it a pleasant-enough detour that most of our panel took no issue with. —GK
77) “Who’s the New Guy?”
“When Do I Get to Spend Time With Josh?” season 2, episode 9
Nathaniel’s introduction leans on meta humor to an extent that feels just a little clumsy. —CG
76) “Settle for Me (Reprise)”
“I’m Going on a Date With Josh’s Friend!” season 1, episode 4
This reprise reminds us that no festival portable toilet has ever looked this clean, and that no personal resolution by Rebecca Bunch has ever failed to be immediately followed up by a much worse life decision. —AR
75) “A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes”
“I Hope Josh Comes to My Party!” season 1, episode 3
This pitch-perfect boy band parody is so low on the list only because there are so many fantastic deconstructions of Rebecca’s obsession with Josh to come, and the bar is high. —CG
74) “Man Nap”
“Is Josh Free in Two Weeks?” season 2, episode 12
The show gets a lot of mileage from undercutting Nathaniel’s performative masculinity, but this is not its best effort. —CG
73) “West Covina (Reprise)”
“Josh Just Happens to Live Here!” season 1, episode 1
The magic of this scene and song isn’t that great Richard Gere rhyme — it’s the way it uses the setup of a traditional lover’s duet to make clear that the real endgame pairing of this series is a One True Friendship between two women. —AR
72) “So Maternal”
“Who Is Josh’s Soup Fairy?” season 2, episode 8
“So Maternal” is not particularly well-rooted in any of Rebecca’s neuroses, which makes it a pretty forgettable (if catchy) song. —CG
71) “Maybe This Dream”
“When Will Josh See How Cool I Am?” season 2, episode 2
For another character, this pastoral operetta riff could have been too over-the-top to be effective, but as sung/acted by the inimitable Donna Lynne Champlin (and some birds), it’s just the right combination of wistful, wry, and poignant. —AR
70) “Research Me Obsessively”
“Who’s the Cool Girl Josh Is Dating?” season 2, episode 7
Guest star Brittany Snow coos her way through this ode to obsessive jealousy with a perfect pop-star blankness. —CG
69) “Flooded With Justice”
“Josh and I Go to Los Angeles!” season 1, episode 13
Rebecca stirs her community to a Les Mis-y rebellion that’s far more interesting in theory than in practice, but at least it contains a B.J. Novak cameo. —AR
68) “Women Gotta Stick Together”
“I’m Going to the Beach With Josh and His Friends!” season 1, episode 9
Valencia gets her Mean Girl on by way of Lilith Fair, and the results are breezy fun (the way her victims’ faces first light up and slowly fall!) but largely forgettable. —CG
67) “You Go First”
“Who’s the Cool Girl Josh Is Dating?” season 2, episode 7
The splintering of Paula and Rebecca’s friendship is one of the show’s richest emotional wells, but ’80s music videos aren’t exactly the most urgent target for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s skewering. —CG
66) “California Christmastime”
“My Mom, Greg’s Mom and Josh’s Sweet Dance Moves!” season 1, episode 8
This pastiche of bland, aggressively multicultural, over-corporatized, snowless California Christmases makes for a fun, forgettable holiday jingle. —AR
65) “I’m in a Sexy French Depression”
“I’m So Happy That Josh Is So Happy!” season 1, episode 7
Rebecca’s spot-on turn at a sultry French torch song is hilariously over-the-top, while hinting at her very real problems with coping mechanisms. —AR
64) “I’m So Good at Yoga”
“Josh’s Girlfriend Is Really Cool!” season 1, episode 2
The Valencia in Rebecca’s head gets funnier and funnier the more specific her smug preening gets. Anyone can brag about being good at yoga, but imaginary Valencia boasts that not only does she have vaginal orgasms, but she’s also not afraid of clowns and trains. —CG
63) “Maybe She’s Not Such a Heinous Bitch After All”
“I Never Want to See Josh Again.” season 3, episode 5
Rebecca’s mournful “My relationship with her was my first failed romance” beautifully captures the tortured dynamic she’s developed with her mother — but there will be later songs that handle it even better. —CG
62) “Rebecca’s Reprise”
“Can Josh Take a Leap of Faith?” season 2, episode 13
“Rebecca’s Reprise” is a gentle medley that manages to wring unexpected poignancy out of some of the silliest songs of the past two seasons. —CG
61) “I Love My Daughter (but Not in a Creepy Way)”
“Josh and I Are Good People!” season 1, episode 5
This “Butterfly Kisses” parody is super uncomfortable, but it helps that Darryl is just as weirded out by it as the rest of us are. —CG
60) “Textmergency”
“That Text Was Not Meant for Josh!” season 1, episode 11
This ’80s hair metal jam, while inessential to the larger plot, is so much funnier than it has any right to be — not least because of its perfectly random cameo from the ghost of Steve Jobs. (Get outta here, Steve Jobs!) —CF
59) “The End of the Movie”
“Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Is Crazy.” season 3, episode 4
This song’s meta observations about real life not always conforming to easily digestible narratives is right in the show’s comedic wheelhouse, but that somewhat predictable premise gets a boost from guest singer Josh Groban and his unexpected intrusion into Rebecca’s fantasy world midway through the number. —GK
58) “His Status Is … Preferred”
“I’m So Happy That Josh Is So Happy!” season 1, episode 7
Paula’s sultry torch song isn’t the deepest character examination you’ll ever get, but its rhyme structure is full of winking jokes in classic musical theater style. —CG
57) “George’s Turn”
“When Do I Get to Spend Time With Josh?” season 2, episode 9
Oh, George. We hardly knew ye, but for those 20 seconds, you (and actor Danny Jolles) were our favorite. —AR
56) “Thought Bubbles”
“Why Is Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Eating Carbs?” season 2, episode 5
Of all the “Josh: he’s kinda dumb” songs, this is by far the catchiest and the most musically sophisticated. But the most fun is still to come. —CG
55) “I Have Friends”
“I Hope Josh Comes to My Party!” season 1, episode 3
This song, which encapsulates Rebecca’s desperate need to be liked, was an early, hilarious sign of what was to come (with a bonus, perfectly manic turn from Ava Acres as kid Rebecca). —CF
54) “The Buzzing From the Bathroom”
“To Josh, With Love.” season 3, episode 2
The Tom Hooper close-ups are what make this Les Mis parody really pop. —CG
53) “Stuck in the Bathroom”
“Who Needs Josh When You Have a Girl Group?” season 2, episode 6
This slow jam is Heather’s first full-length solo, and giving her laid-back cool a showcase breathes fresh air into the cast dynamics. —CG
52) “Don’t Settle for Me”
“Josh and I Go to Los Angeles!” season 1, episode 13
We knew Heather was cool before this song, but this is where we find out just how cool. The use of the reprise tells us how fully Heather’s got a read on Greg, while the music underscores how totally not broken up about this breakup she is. —AR
51) “What’ll It Be (Hey, West Covina)”
“My First Thanksgiving With Josh!” season 1, episode 6
Greg’s “Piano Man” tribute is a perfect, melancholy response to Rebecca’s joyous anthem to West Covina. —CG
50) “Face Your Fears”
“I Hope Josh Comes to My Party!” season 1, episode 3
Given how incredible Donna Lynne Champlin’s voice is, it’s criminal that there aren’t more Paula ballads on this show. So this one, which shows off Champlin’s range while poking fun at Paula’s love of telling Rebecca exactly what she should do, was and remains a welcome treat. —CF
49) “Cold Showers Lead to Crack”
“Josh and I Work on a Case!” season 1, episode 12
Rebecca’s unblinking enthusiasm make her an ideal Music Man con woman. Special shout-out to the guy who barely lets Darryl get two seconds into his pitch before blurting out, “Yeah, I don’t live here.” —CG
48) “Without Love You Can Save the World”
“Nathaniel Gets the Message!” season 2, episode 9
It feels right that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s official 100th song falls squarely in the middle of the pack: It’s solid and a definite game change for Rebecca’s character, but it’s not quite transcendently great. Here, we see Rebecca forcefully rejecting the romantic comedy narratives that guided her actions in the first two seasons, only to replace it with a magical hippie fantasy that’s just as unreachable. —CG
47) “Ping Pong Girl”
“When Will Josh See How Cool I Am?” season 2, episode 2
Adam Schlesinger of Fountains of Wayne is Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s executive music producer, so it’s no surprise that “Ping Pong Girl” manages to be a pitch-perfect evocation of early-2000s pop punk. But what makes it great is Rebecca’s boundless belief that if she can only perform the right kind of effortless cool-girl femininity, Josh will surely fall madly in love with her forever. —CG
46) “Greg’s Drinking Song”
“When Will Josh See How Cool I Am?” season 2, episode 2
It takes a talented team to make an Irish drinking song memorable — a feat the Crazy Ex team accomplished by making this one about the horrific, unflattering realities of alcoholism (not to mention throwing up on a cat). —CF
45) “I Go to the Zoo”
“Josh Is a Liar,” season 3, episode 3
Scott Michael Foster’s Nathanial has only had a couple of solo songs so far, both trading on his would-be confident-hot-dude persona and a lot of mugging for the camera. That definitely works to a point in “I Go to the Zoo” — particularly as Nathanial points and winks at various zoo denizens as if they were all patrons at the hottest club — but the talk-sing lyrics aren’t quite sharp enough to extend the song’s silly premise over two and a half minutes. —GK
44) “I’ve Got My Head in the Clouds”
“To Josh, With Love.” season 3, episode 2
Jesus is an odd subject for a “Singin’ in the Rain”-style pastiche, but it’s hilariously appropriate for Josh, because of course Josh’s religious conversion would come with a soft-shoe duet. Plus, it’s always fun to see Josh take a turn as the dapper, old-school leading man — especially when he still gets to be the dumb, plucky jock we know and love. —AR
43) “Heavy Boobs”
“Josh’s Sister Is Getting Married!” season 1, episode 16
If you ever want to get very depressed about men, you can either go directly to No. 8 on this list or you can just check the YouTube comments on “Heavy Boobs.” Bloom has said that she deliberately shot the bouncy video to look as painful as possible and subvert the male gaze — but the comments are filled with men boasting about watching the video one-handed. —CG
42) “We’ll Never Have Problems Again”
“Will Scarsdale Like Josh’s Shayna Punim?” season 2, episode 10
This ridiculously costumed ode to the reckless optimism of romantic infatuation is a fairly straightforward homage with a few fun musical flourishes elevating it to something a bit more special, like Josh and Rebecca’s octave-spanning “no more ups and downs, only ups and ups and ups!” and “live fade out, live fade out, live fade out ...” Bonus points for Heather’s flawless Soul Train exit. —GK
41) “You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)”
“Josh Is the Man of My Dreams, Right?” season 2, episode 11
Whether it’s an unintentional backhanded compliment or a passive-aggressive master stroke, we have to hand it to Darryl for using this song (and a ukulele) to make Paula laugh while guilting us all into appreciating him more. —AR
40) “I’m a Good Person”
“Josh and I Are Good People!” season 1, episode 5
This Rebecca Bunch signature move is an early Bunch 101 on the fundamental contradictions of her character. Her determination to prove Greg wrong comes close to proving him right, and all the brashness of this number can’t mask the insecurity that fuels it. —AR
39) “Angry Mad”
“Why Is Josh in a Bad Mood?” season 1, episode 17
The placement of this barely-a-song may be controversial to those expecting a little more songwriting rigor from a number this high on the list. To those people, may we suggest exorcising that frustration via a high-energy, martial arts-inflected angry dance (backflips optional)? See, now don’t you feel better? —GK
38) “The Moment Is Me”
“Josh Is a Liar.” season 3, episode 3
Heather’s deadpan disgust with her big musical theater moment is a thing of beauty, but it’s the giant cheesy grins on the faces of her background dancers that really put this one over the top. —CG
37) “Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too”
“Nathaniel Gets the Message!” season 3, episode 9
Let’s get the nitpicking out of the way first: The reveal that Josh is an actual stripper (not just an imaginary one) is poorly integrated into this song; if they’d done a better job establishing a difference between the real stage and the dream stage, it would have played better. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s sit back and let the fit hot guys tell us about what’s troubling them. —CG
36) “Love Kernels”
“Where Is Josh’s Friend?” season 2, episode 1
This song works less well as the Lemonade parody it was intended as than an unexpectedly hilarious explanation for why, exactly, Rebecca clings to whatever tiny scrap of affection a man shows her for moral support. (Also: She gets to play a sentient cactus.) —CF
35) “Oh My God, I Think I Like You”
“Why Is Josh in a Bad Mood?” season 1, episode 17
Rebecca’s realization that she’s falling for Greg manages to be freaked-out and sweet and dirty and ominous all at once. You can see here that their relationship has more of a solid foundation than Rebecca’s infatuation with Josh, and that it is not going to heal or fix either one of them. —CG
34) “Group Hang”
“Josh and I Work on a Case!” season 1, episode 12
This Shakira-inspired number has a solid claim to the best one-liners of any song on the show. I can never choose between “A group hang / a group hang / I’m so afraid of horses,” and “I feel like I’m being gaslighted by this restaurant.” —CG
33) “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme” (season 3)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s most recent theme is the lowest-ranked on this list (for now, anyway — it’s a grower), perhaps because it lacks the musical cohesion of its predecessors. But its 50-second survey of how different genres (pop, country, rock, and rap) utilize the show’s central epithet is pretty damn clever, and appropriate to the series’ increased focus on Rebecca’s mental state in its third season. —GK
32) “The Trent Is Getting Ready Song”
“Who Needs Josh When You Have a Girl Group?” season 2, episode 6
Trent had two jobs: look sexy and get ready. He managed neither, but the effort was hilarious. —AR
31) “The Villain in My Own Story”
“Josh Is Going to Hawaii!” season 1, episode 14
In the first season, there were so many times when watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend became a practice in wondering if the show was quite self-aware enough to understand how destructive Rebecca’s actions could be. “The Villain in My Own Story,” in which Rebecca questions herself and everything she’s done up to this point, proved once and for all that it knew exactly what it was doing. —CF
30) “Strip Away My Conscience”
“To Josh, With Love.” season 3, episode 2
As Rebecca tried to seduce her seemingly terrible boss, Nathaniel, in a desperate attempt to find “the bitch that lies beneath,” she finally threw caution to the winds with “Strip Away My Conscience,” a sexy Chicago-style striptease packed with double entendres. And while this show is generally a master at sliding around FCC regulations, there may have had no greater (and more beautifully constructed) test than this song’s purred, “Let me choke on your cocksuredness.” —CF
29) “Having a Few People Over”
“I’m Back at Camp With Josh!” season 1, episode 10
Full disclosure: One person on our panel inflated this ranking by rating Darryl’s nearly lyric-free dance number much higher than everyone else, who apparently lack that person’s admiration for a nicely curated cheese platter and and a well-chopped throw pillow. That person invites the rest of the panel over to her place to talk this out over some crudités and glowsticks. —GK
28) “Let’s Have Intercourse”
“Josh Is the Man of My Dreams, Right?” season 3, episode 11
Scott Michael Foster has shown more and more of how well he fits with this show as his Nathaniel gets more and more obsessed with Rebecca, despite all his better instincts. The Ed Sheeran-esque “Let’s Have Intercourse” plays to his dude-bro strengths as Nathaniel shrugs that sure, he’ll have sex with Rebecca, but it’s not like he wants to (incredibly badly) or anything. But what takes this song from good to great is the fluid choreography, which has Foster and Bloom pantomiming their way through a gorgeous dance routine inspired by disappointing sex. (Trust us: It works.) —CF
27) “Dream Ghost”
“Josh Has No Idea Where I Am!” season 1, episode 15
This hilarious Dreamgirls parody makes it clear that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend can make a song about anything, even vaguely familiar tropes we hadn’t ever really thought that much about. This song levels up brilliantly — from the fact the plane has a dream ghost (in the form of Rachel’s therapist, Dr. Akopian) to the fact the plane is carrying multiple airplane dream ghosts, played by the powerhouse trio of Michael Hyatt, Amber Riley, and Ricki Lake. Rebecca’s delight speaks for all of us. —AR
26) “After Everything You Made Me Do (That You Didn’t Ask For)”
“To Josh, With Love.” season 3 episode 2
It’s rare for reprises to distinguish themselves from the original as strongly as this number manages to do, by inverting Paula’s unforgettable excoriation of Rebecca and applying it to Rebecca’s relationship with Josh, which the would-be Mrs. Chan well and truly burns to the ground here. Hearing Rebecca’s litany of questionable-to-illegal behavior compressed into two searing minutes is deeply uncomfortable, but Bloom sells the hell out of it, sending the series’ definitive romantic relationship out on a literal high note. —GK
25) “A Diagnosis”
“Josh Is Irrelevant.” season 3, episode 6
The show’s decision to focus closely on Rebecca’s mental health instead of shrugging and saying, “She’s crazy!” was one of the smartest things it could have done in its third season: As soon as Rebecca had an actual diagnosis to work with, her world got a whole lot more grounded and a lot more interesting. “A Diagnosis” is a joyous “I want” song that wouldn’t feel all that out of place in a show like Next to Normal, and it represents a valuable move forward in Rebecca’s endless one step forward/two giant steps back journey. —CG
24) “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme” (season 1)
“Josh’s Girlfriend Is Really Cool!” season 1, episode 2
The show’s original theme song is sly but brilliant. Not only is it a catchy earworm that acts as a handy recap for how Rebecca ended up in West Covina, but it also pokes fun at the entire idea of the show by acknowledging that the “crazy ex-girlfriend” label is “a sexist term” — a charge lobbed at the show before it even premiered. As a first impression for what was to come, this theme song nailed it so hard that it was genuinely sad to see it go come season two. —CF
23) “Feeling Kinda Naughty”
“Josh’s Girlfriend Is Really Cool!” season 1, episode 2
This was the song that convinced me Crazy Ex-Girlfriend knew what it was doing. It was only the second episode, and yet the show was already delivering a perfectly constructed pop song that goes from innocuous “girl crush” anthem to a twisted stalker manifesto in the blink of a lacquered eye. For the truly demented “I wanna kill you and wear your skin like a dress / but also have you see me in the dress / and be like, ‘OMG, you look so cute in my skin!’” breakdown alone, this song deserves every honor we can give it. —CF
22) “I Give Good Parent”
“My First Thanksgiving With Josh!” season 2, episode 6
Herein lies an early form of what came to be a classic Crazy Ex-Girlfriend combination: a seemingly innocuous topic (meeting parents) with a seemingly disparate genre (the kind of Katy Perry synth pop that leans on ill-advised rap breakdowns), plus a heavy dose of gleeful filth. —CF
21) “West Covina”
“Josh Just Happens to Live Here!” season 1, episode 1
As the big first-episode opening number, this song wears a lot of hats. It has to give us our first impression of our heroine, introduce us to the decision she makes that will drive the entire plot, and set the stage for the show’s quirky musical conceits, all while serving up an entertaining pastiche of the classic movie-musical showstopper. That it manages to do all this while effortlessly conveying the erratic psyche of Rebecca Bunch just shows how many good things Crazy Ex-Girlfriend had in store. —AR
20) “(Tell Me I’m Okay) Patrick”
“Is Josh Free in Two Weeks?” season 2, episode 12
Seth Green’s nonplussed performance as Patrick the delivery guy is fun here, and the package playing a tinkling melody on the piano as Patrick and Rebecca perch on the lid is a fantastic visual gag. But the heart of this song lies in Rebecca’s achingly relatable sense of loneliness and alienation. It’s hard not to nod in recognition when she demands to know whether there’s a secret manual on how to be a normal person that everyone has but her — or to keep from cringe-laughing when she growls, “I know you have the manual, Patrick; I know it’s in your truck, Patrick!” —CG
19) “Sexy Getting Ready Song”
“Josh Just Happens to Live Here!” season 1, episode 1
This song was the perfect introduction to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s pervasive and cheerful excoriation of gender roles and the ridiculous societal expectations placed on women. With its Bridget Jones-esque torturous date night prep juxtaposed against a breathy R&B number, the song let us into the show’s winking participation in patriarchal bullshit. —AR
18) “Gettin’ Bi”
“Josh Is Going to Hawaii!” season 1, episode 14
The secret of Darryl songs is that they should never work when sung by other characters, but all of them somehow manage to work wonderfully when applied to Darryl. His unique mix of sincerity and social awkwardness manages to transcend our discomfort and land somewhere between hilarious and endearing. The moment when he comes out to a nonplussed workplace in a rousing Huey Lewis tribute is a perfect example. —AR
17) “Sex With a Stranger”
“I’m Going on a Date With Josh’s Friend!” season 1, episode 4
In a dating age defined by apps and sketchy online profiles, there may be no more relatable line in Crazy Ex’s entire repertoire than “Hey, sexy stranger, come back to my place (and please don’t be a murderer).” As a bonus, this early-days pop song is catchy as hell, and includes a breakdown about said sexy stranger’s balls, which “smell so much worse than I feared.” Lyrical dexterity at its finest. —CF
16) “I Gave You a UTI”
“Why Is Josh in a Bad Mood?” season 1, episode 17
Songs about UTIs probably shouldn’t exist, but if they have to, we’re glad that this one does, because it’s hilarious. Greg’s unexpectedly chipper reaction to Rebecca’s health emergency demonstrates both why he was such a fun match for her and why Santino Fontana was such a perpetually compelling asset to the show. —AR
15) “Put Yourself First”
“I’m Back at Camp With Josh!” season 1, episode 10
This Fifth Harmony riff is as close as Crazy Ex-Girlfriend gets to straight-up parody, in both form and substance. It works nicely as a one-size-fits-all critique of the commodification of female empowerment, with some gleefully tweaked details in both the lyrics (“wear fake eyelids just for yourself”) and the visuals (the skeevy Terry Richardson doppelgänger in a “Male Gaze” shirt). But the song’s best gift is its “don’t think about it too hard, too-too hard” breakdown, a glorious amalgam of the sort of irresistibly nonsensical earworm that’s endemic to bubblegum pop, and the mockery thereof. —GK
14) “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme” (season 2)
“Where Is Josh’s Friend?” season 2, episode 1
It was hard to imagine that the show could come up with a more fitting theme song than the one it originally had, but damn if this second iteration didn’t pull it off! This bop of a chorus line number is straight up adorable, even as it sneaks in telling lines like Rebecca insisting that she “has no underling issues to address / I’m certifiably cute and adorably obsessed!” But even if none of that were true, this song would be dear to our hearts for that perfectly weird final beat of Rebecca blinking at the camera in wide-eyed glee just a little too long. —CF
13) “It Was a Shit Show”
“When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?” season 2, episode 4
One of the surprise turns Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has taken during its meandering tour through a host of rom-com tropes is its early-season-two decision to totally break up, at least for the foreseeable future, the Greg-Rebecca part of the Great Rebecca Bunch Love Triangle. “Grebecca” had seemed to be shaping up to be the show’s “endgame” pairing, but then Greg, who had long wanted to return to Emory University and pursue his own dreams, decided to do just that, even though it meant leaving Rebecca at the airport terminal.
In this, his “My Way”-ish goodbye to Rebecca, we see both Greg and the show at their best: clear-eyed, soulful, and willing to leave you wanting more. “We can’t undo, can’t make amends,” he sings, “dysfunction is our lingua franca / We can’t unscrew each other’s friends / we’re Jerry Springer, not Casablanca.” It’s a perfect, perfectly awful Crazy Ex-Girlfriend moment. —AR
12) “You Stupid Bitch”
“That Text Was Not Meant For Josh!” season 1, episode 11
For proof that democracy is broken, look no further than the fact that “You Stupid Bitch” was ranked No. 12 by our judging panel, when clearly it should have been in the top five and arguably should have won the whole damn thing. Detractors will argue that Rebecca’s power anthem of “self-indulgent self-loathing” doesn’t have the witty rhyme structure or clever wordplay of other songs on this list, but for sheer force and power, it can’t be beaten.
Rebecca gleefully urging her imaginary audience to sing along with her, crowing, “Yes, I deserve this!” and wallowing in mocking her own self-hatred is one of the darkest and most revealing moments of the whole show, and it sets the stage for her rock-bottom moments in season three. All the deeper explorations of her psyche that we get over the course of the rest of the show are rooted in this song. —CG
11) “Friendtopia”
“Who Needs Josh When You Have a Girl Group?” season 2, episode 6
This glorious paean to female friendship spices up its conceit by literalizing the idea of women taking over the world, and it works on every level. The lyrics are razor-sharp throughout (“We’re gonna braid each other’s hair / then cut each other’s braids / connect the braids to build a rope / to hang all of Congress”), escalating to a hilariously antagonistic “roll call” that introduces “The Brainy One” (head of censorship and mind control), “The Cool One” (puts drugs in the water supply), and “The Sexy One” (czar of torture).
Rachel Bloom, Vella Lovell, and Gabrielle Ruiz fully commit to their characters’ wide-eyed mania (and bad accents), turning the conceit of this song up to 11 and making us truly believe in the revolutionary power of rosé and nostalgically watching Hocus Pocus. Zigga-zow! —GK
10) “I Could If I Wanted to”
”Josh’s Sister Is Getting Married!” season 1, episode 16
Pairing Greg, in all his wryness and faux disaffectedness, with the classic sound of West Coast ’90s grunge was one of the show’s smartest moves. Filmed in one long take, Greg walks us through his growing dissatisfaction, his gnawing self-loathing, and his seething sense of thwarted ambition, all by glibly declaring he doesn’t care about any of these things. It’s funny, relatable, and, crucially, a memorable setup for his ultimate decision to leave. —AR
9) “Remember That We Suffered”
“Will Scarsdale Like Josh’s Shayna Punim?” season 2, episode 10
If Tovah Feldshuh and Patti LuPone throwing lyrical shade at the Beastie Boys and Haim and rhyming “the sweet and the bitter” with “Streisand and Hitler” doesn’t inspire pure, unadulterated joy, well, you’d probably fit in well with the crowd at Rebecca’s cousin’s bar mitzvah. Or perhaps not, as they all seem really into this klezmer tune, coming together for a joyful hora in celebration of eons of Jewish suffering.
Broadway legends LuPone and Feldshuh are the heart and soul of this song (though the DJ, the grandson of a survivor, pulls his weight), turning a 90-second gag into an epic performance that instantly became one of the series’ most memorable moments. Literally the only bad thing to say about “Remember That We Suffered” is that it ends approximately three minutes too early. Fingers crossed for a reprise. —GK
8) “Let’s Generalize About Men”
“Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Wants Revenge.” season 3, episode 1
The season three opener left us in no doubt that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was back and as savvy as ever about the gender divide. In this ’80s power anthem homage, the girls indulge in “some kind of primal ritual we need now and then,” i.e., complaining about men as a universal collective. The song’s fatalistic despair at its own rush to stereotype is its crowning humor. —AR
7) “First Penis I Saw”
“Getting Over Jeff.” season 3, episode 8
Paula’s ABBA-style romp through a grocery store full of phallic vegetables relives every girl’s unforgettable coming-of-age moment. What’s great about this song is that it takes a woman’s first fumbling sexual encounter, something typically framed as a dramatic loss of innocence, and turns it into a joyous, celebratory nostalgia trip. —AR
6) “The Math of Love Triangles”
“All Signs Point to Josh ... or Is It Josh’s Friend?” season 2, episode 3
Rebecca’s Marilyn Monroe moment manages to singlehandedly beat half the songs of Smash, a TV show devoted almost entirely to creating musical tributes to Marilyn Monroe. The beauty of this one comes from the withering disdain projected by Rebecca’s backup dancers as she sexy-baby-coos her way through her triangle puns: “We’re starting to suspect / you don’t sincerely want to know about triangles!” they complain.
It’s a joyous, sparkly subversion of the Marilyn Monroe fantasy that at the same time manages to effectively puncture Rebecca’s self-absorbed glee at being pursed by two hot guys at once. And most importantly, it’s a hell of a lot of fun. —CG
5) “We Tapped That Ass”
“When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?” season 2, episode 4
There are so many ways this song could have gone wrong. It could’ve been unbearably cheesy, gross to distraction, too impressed with its own profane daring. Instead, it’s an impeccably crafted piece of infectious joy, and a perfect example of everything this show does best. “We Tapped That Ass” recaps Rebecca’s enthusiastic sex life with both Greg and Josh in excruciating, hilarious detail, with Santino Fontana and Vincent Rodriguez grinning up a storm.
The tap-dancing choreography alone would have made this song a hall of famer, but what makes it hard to beat are moments like Rebecca groaning, “Not on my chest!” as her ex-boyfriends do the “big finish” by leaping onto her dresser without breaking step. It’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend meets Singin’ in the Rain, and lo, it is a total delight. —CF
4) “JAP Battle”
“Josh and I Go to Los Angeles!” season 1, episode 13
“JAP Battle” takes a very tired trope — “white people rapping ironically” — and pokes fun at that very fact by aiming this rap battle at a hyper-specific target: two overachieving “Shebrews from Scarsdale.” The ridiculous study of “Jewish American Princess” culture is packed with smart rhymes, unexpected character building, and Yiddish wordplay — a confusing combination on most any show but Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. But if you’re squinting in confusion at this song’s high placement, we’re going to go ahead and assume you haven’t watched the above explicit version, which ramps everything up to 11. —CF
3) “After Everything I’ve Done For You (That You Didn’t Ask For)”
“Paula Needs to Get Over Josh!” season 1, episode 18
Donna Lynne Champlin as Paula is the great secret weapon of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Paula’s half-toxic, half-aspirational friendship with Rebecca is one of the show’s richest emotional wells; Champlin’s powerhouse voice can do everything from a Disney princess vibrato to a soulful belt, and when given license to let loose, she can light up the entire screen.
Paula spent all of season one acting as Rebecca’s id, initiating all of the petty, vindictive shenanigans that Rebecca claimed she wanted no part in but secretly craved, the way the best friend traditionally does in a romantic comedy. And here, as she shimmies menacingly across the stage in her “Rose’s Turn” number, she at last releases all of the pent-up rage she’s been carrying in an explosion of angry jazz hands and sardonic patter. The result beautifully brings psychological depth to the romantic comedy best friend trope, and Champlin makes every moment of it shine. —CG
2) “Settle for Me”
”I’m Going on a Date With Josh’s Friend!” season 1, episode 4
The moment when Greg leveled up from also-ran to leading man was pure delight, both because it was the show’s only Fred-and-Ginger moment and because it was rife with the wry, self-deprecating self-awareness that made Greg the show’s narrative linchpin throughout season one. In this, his initial pitch to Rebecca, he upsells his underdog status, and even if it’s clear that Rebecca isn’t it buying it, by the time he’s through tap-dancing his way into our hearts, the rest of us totally are. —AR
1) “Where’s the Bathroom?”
“My Mom, Greg’s Mom and Josh’s Sweet Dance Moves!” season 1, episode 8
Hey, we didn’t see this placement coming either, but you know what? We’re not mad about it.
“Where’s the Bathroom?” is a tour de force, a master class in guilt-tripping sold by Tovah Feldshuh’s incomparable and unstoppable gusto. In less than three minutes, this song tells us everything we need to know about Rebecca’s relationship with her mother, who barely takes a breath from the second she bursts in the door. As Rebecca sees it, her mother is a whirling dervish of sanctimonious griping fueled by furious disappointment, and the song tells that story beautifully while wringing punchlines out of hurt. (“You’re looking healthy, and by healthy, I mean chunky.”) It’s exactly the kind of song that keeps us coming back to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and as such, it deserves this top spot on our list and in our hearts. —CF