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Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle sees your teaser trailers, raises you this actual teaser

It’s impossible to tell what’s going in the first Kingsman 2 trailer. We slowed it down so you can. 

Blink and you will literally miss everything in the teaser trailer for Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle.

The promotional campaign for the upcoming sequel takes the word “teaser” literally in a new trailer released Tuesday: The clip intentionally crams a disorienting blur of action, explosions, and stars like Halle Berry and Channing Tatum (who appears to be in Brokeback Mountain cosplay) — along with less-expected images of butterflies, cheeseburgers, and a vintage theater marquee — into 15 seconds’ worth of rapid-fire frames.

To make the viewing experience easier, I slowed down the teaser and turned it into a GIF, where you can really see Tatum in all of his Jack Twist glory, a chase scene, and all the clues you may have (more like probably) missed, along with the blink-and-you’ll miss-it tagline, “A proper spy movie.”

According to the movie’s IMDB synopsis, “the Kingsman's journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US” and the two organizations will come together to defeat a common enemy — not that you would get any of that from the sped-up trailer.

On the other hand, you’ve got to admire the cheekiness behind this “teaser” trailer. In a movie-marketing culture where we’re inundated with teaser trailers, official trailers, and sometimes even teases for teaser trailers, Kingsman 2’s preview feels like a delightfully defiant jab at that phenomenon.

Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle hits theaters on September 29, 2017.