Stephen Colbert on Tuesday took a long, hard look at “Lunghazi” — the name he gave to the “scandal” over Hillary Clinton hiding her pneumonia diagnosis until she stumbled and fainted on her way out of a public 9/11 event on Sunday.
“She has been dropping in the polls, and over the weekend even her immune system turned against her,” Colbert said in his opening monologue. “No surprise — all the white blood cells are voting for Trump.”
But there’s a real problem, Colbert said: “This whole pneumonia saga feeds right into the narrative that Clinton’s hiding things and she’s too unhealthy to serve.”
Apparently, the problem is Clinton is frequently dehydrated. “She won’t drink water, and you try telling Hillary Clinton she has to drink water,” said “a person in her orbit,” according to Politico.
“Challenge accepted,” Colbert said, launching into an advertisement for water. “Secretary Clinton, what if I told you there was a nonalcoholic beverage you can get free from any faucet, even sometimes from the sky? It’s packed with oxygen and — get this — twice as much hydrogen. And it’s delicious, like a tall glass of unflavored Gatorade. Water: You need it to live!”
Colbert went on to talk to a cartoon version of Clinton, who pulled out a bong (“Would I be using recreational drugs if I wasn’t feeling well? Hi! Hello, Bernie voters, I’m feeling the bern.”), coughed up a cat, and even died, turning into a translucent ghost (“I’m just displaying total transparency”). Watch the full video above.