clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Rio 2016: Leslie Jones’s Olympics play-by-play is a gift from the Greek gods

By Alex Abad-Santos
Alex Abad-Santos is a senior correspondent who explains what society obsesses over, from Marvel and movies to fitness and skin care. He came to Vox in 2014. Prior to that, he worked at the Atlantic.

The Olympic Games are supposed to unite us. Thousands of athletes have traveled to Rio to represent their respective countries and cultures. They all have unique histories, but they’re all there side by side, competing in universal sports. There are frequent displays of human kindness and sportsmanship. There's all that sex in the Olympic Village.

And as we watch this special phenomenon from all across the world, one thing almost everyone can agree on is that most Olympics commentary — the people who give you the play-by-play of every sport — rarely adds any value. Some of it is fluff. Some is hyperbole. And a lot of it is just politely telling us what we’re seeing with our own eyes.

That’s why the latest (and unofficial) addition to the commentary landscape feels like a gift from the Greek gods themselves. This champion curses like a sailor, manipulates her words like a poet, and yells like a banshee. Her name is Leslie Jones.

You may know Jones from Saturday Night Live or the recent Ghostbusters reboot. But ever since the Summer Olympics began on August 5, she’s been making a strong case to add "Olympic commentator" to her résumé by tweeting about the games at every opportunity.

Jones hits the sweet spot between irreverence, carnal patriotism, and straight shooting. It’s play-by-play in its most honest form. It’s jarringly hilarious. And it’s also endearing.

Here is a photo of Jones, draped in American glory. The only thing that could possibly more patriotic than her would be a bald eagle carrying guns, a football, and a hamburger in its talons:

Jones has a magical way of making you appreciate the greatness of athletes that you pretty much knew were great already. For example, Kerri Walsh Jennings is going to go down as one of the greatest beach volleyball players in Olympic history. Jones reminds you of this in a way you will remember:

Jones is also empathetic. When Ryan Held won a gold medal as part of Team USA’s 4x100-meter men’s freestyle relay team and broke down during the national anthem, she made clear why it was such a cool moment and why she wants to just hold this skinny, wonderful man while he cries:

Katie Ledecky is, without a doubt, a swimming marvel who must be the result of a mad scientist splicing a mako shark with a human. Jones’s complete awe of how Ledecky obliterated the competition and the magic yellow line sums up how dominant Ledecky is:

Table tennis doesn’t get enough respect. But in Jones’s eyes, the fearsome blood sport known as ping-pong has all her admiration:

What’s great about Jones is that she often just says what we all want to say and what we wish announcers would say. Case in point: her assessment of this bike race in relatable, human terms.

Weightlifters are people too, Jones reminds us. Just try to think about crossing one, she proposes. The mental image she conjures is spectacular:

And finally, here is Jones on the inanity of the announcers she is quickly making obsolete:

Jones’s gifts for Olympics commentary has earned her an invite from NBC to come to Rio to watch some events live (and presumably comment on them while she’s at it). But the best thing about Jones is that she’s not on NBC, and thus is allowed to swear, shatter our eardrums, and go off script.

Rio Olympics 2016: What to watch for

Will you support Vox’s explanatory journalism?

Most news outlets make their money through advertising or subscriptions. But when it comes to what we’re trying to do at Vox, there are a couple reasons that we can't rely only on ads and subscriptions to keep the lights on.

First, advertising dollars go up and down with the economy. We often only know a few months out what our advertising revenue will be, which makes it hard to plan ahead.

Second, we’re not in the subscriptions business. Vox is here to help everyone understand the complex issues shaping the world — not just the people who can afford to pay for a subscription. We believe that’s an important part of building a more equal society. We can’t do that if we have a paywall.

That’s why we also turn to you, our readers, to help us keep Vox free. If you also believe that everyone deserves access to trusted high-quality information, will you make a gift to Vox today?

Yes, I'll give $5/month

In This Stream

Rio 2016: Olympics news and updates

View all 73 stories

Next Up In Culture

The Latest

The government’s case to break up Amazon, explained

By Sara Morrison

Kevin McCarthy is out. Who might replace him as speaker?

By Nicole Narea

9 questions about the government’s effort to break up Amazon

By Sara Morrison and A.W. Ohlheiser

Turns out the government can fine you for trashing space

By Sara Morrison

Is the NFL a commercial for Taylor Swift right now, or vice versa?

By Emily Stewart

The Supreme Court’s uncharacteristic moment of sanity

By Ian Millhiser

Sign up for the newsletter Sign up for Vox Recommends

Get curated picks of the best Vox journalism to read, watch, and listen to every week, from our editors.