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Thursday morning, the official Twitter accounts of the nations of Denmark and Sweden engaged in one of the most bizarre Twitter fights I’ve ever seen. It encompasses everything from the size of the two countries to the Danish language to moose populations to Legos.
Early in the morning, Denmark’s account (managed by its foreign ministry) retweeted one of Sweden’s tweets pointing out that Danes and Swedes have a lot in common (in this case, an aversion to wall-to-wall carpeting). It seemed friendly enough — but Sweden responded by dissing Denmark’s size, the first shot in the Great Nordic Twitter War of 2016:
just one of many things, Danes and Swedes have in common https://t.co/9yC2zfO4Yl
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
. @denmarkdotdk Another thing we don't have in common is that our lakes are the size of your country.
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
Denmark fired back with a joke about how Sweden has a lot of laws and rules.
Did you know that everything that is not forbidden in @swedense, is mandatory?
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
Then the whole thing escalated wildly out of control. Jokes covered:
- The time a moose swam from Sweden to Denmark (eventually dying there)
- A Swedish policeman who thought a drunk Swede was just speaking Danish
- A Swedish parent naming a child Lego (Legos were invented in Denmark)
- A weird Vice piece about how Denmark dominates the global sperm market
.@denmarkdotdk or what did you say exactly? pic.twitter.com/BrRRsLKYVw
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
.@swedense please, you can't even understand your own people https://t.co/7DDIWveBms
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
My dear @denmarkdotdk you slur, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still slur.
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
But my dear @swedense, tomorrow we all know that you're back in Denmark to buy more alcohol
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
.@denmarkdotdk Sweden has a lot of love, even for danes. Specially those who can’t get married to their loved ones and seek refuge in Sweden
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
.@swedense the feeling is mutual, as we are happy to shelter your fleeing mooses https://t.co/onc8dSlH7C pic.twitter.com/DYq00sWwnH
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
.@denmarkdotdk We give you 1 moose and you kill it. How could you ever handle our 400,000 moose. https://t.co/PpBPxTK3v0
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
.@swedense it just wasn't accustomed to modern infrastructure from where it came
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
.@denmarkdotdk We're happy to give you 5 moose seeing as you didn't have any for 5000 years. Is that the reason your fertility is so low?
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
.@swedense while you were breeding moose, we were busy propagating the world https://t.co/fiRbe0ljrT
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
Dear @denmarkdotdk how "high" is your highest peak? So cute you don't even have enough for a top 10 list. pic.twitter.com/uhGfzKQe8h
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
Dear @swedense, while you're sitting on a hill top, we'll just go to one of our many beaches pic.twitter.com/mOdgEu3D4P
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
Dear @denmarkdotdk keep your beaches while we go to one of our 267,570 islands. Welcome anytime! pic.twitter.com/mLZiMEgEvy
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
It's all fun and games until children in @swedense are named Lego https://t.co/XgCyFo2P7Y pic.twitter.com/uBYOKYXM8G
— Denmark.dk (@denmarkdotdk) July 7, 2016
Dear @denmarkdotdk LEGO? Really?! It's because we have #FREEDOM pic.twitter.com/EHPfQjRHFG
— Sweden.se (@swedense) July 7, 2016
Anyway, this is obviously all in good fun, and is a much better way of dealing with northern European grievances than Vikings hacking each other up with swords and axes.
