Last week, Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe reinstated the right to vote to more than 200,000 former felons. The move inspired a lot of hand-wringing at Fox News and within conservative circles, with Ted Cruz arguing that "it doesn't make sense" to let more murderers, rapists, and violent criminals vote.
Appearing on The Daily Show, comedians Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele mocked some of these criticisms, while in character as two ex-felons.
"You can’t trust convicts with electoral shit," Peele's Killa B. Killed said in the segment. "We savages, son."
"We want to vote, but we felons don't have the aptitude to make informed political decisions," Key's Darius argued. "I use violence to solve my problems in the short term without regard for the long term — much like how America's disastrous foreign policy decisions in the Middle East destabilized the region and led to the emergence of the Islamic State. I mean, I'm stupid, yo!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do I know about fancy issues like tort reform or campaign finance?" Peele's Killa B. Killed concurred. "I'm too busy running a functioning cigarette-based side-economy while taking night classes so I can file legal appeals on my own behalf. I'm a fucking maniac!"
As The Daily Show's Trevor Noah put it in an earlier segment, felons don't need to be defined by their crimes. "These people have served their time, and the logic doesn't make sense," Noah said. "What's the worst thing an ex-con could do with their vote? They can't hurt anyone, because the last time I checked murder and rape aren't options on the ballot. So literally the worst thing a felon could do in the booth is vote for Ted Cruz."
Ironically, Key and Peele's characters said that's exactly what they would do. "It's just something about his eyes, man," Peele's Killa B. Killed said. "Something a real serial killer can relate to."