This Mattress Will Tell You if You're Being Cheated On

The Durmet Smarttress is a Spanish-made mattress that pings your smartphone whenever it is “in use.”

Now, there are two ways you might market a mattress like that: You could skirt around the idea that this technology just might be used to snoop on the bedroom habits of suspected partners. Or, you can steer right into the paranoia at full speed, blaring dramatic music while warning of a “global infidelity crisis [that] knocks on your door.”

Guess which option Durmet chose?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWP4n4BfAYo

The Smarttress app claims to be able to indicate duration, intensity and “impact per minute.”

“If your partner isn’t faithful, at least your mattress is,” the ad concludes.

This is reminiscent of the innocent days of 2009, when some guy supposedly rigged a bed to tweet whenever his newly wedded friends were having sex. The difference is, that was an anonymous prank about two people no one knew the identities of, and this is a $1750 consumer product aimed at everyday people with serious trust issues.

The Internet has been predictably kind (“This is the stupidest most useless thing human kind has ever made,” quoth one YouTube user) with a healthy dose of skepticism that the Smarttress is even real. But when reached via email, a press representative shared this video of the mattress being tested at a public event in Madrid, Spain, earlier this week:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SMycNTyaWI

Company spokesperson Antonio Muiño said Durmet is, indeed, a real business and has been making sleep-related items since 2012. It has 10 employees who produce around 70 mattresses per day. He credited the “infidelity crisis” angle to the company’s advertising agency, Grey Spain.

He said Durmet has received several requests from potentially interested buyers but declined to share the exact number. The first smart mattresses are “still in the manufacturing process,” Muiño added.

Fair enough. But as multiple commenters on Product Hunt pointed out, you don’t necessarily need a fancy mattress if you’re trying to catch a cheater in your own bed.

“Just install cameras, folks,” wrote one user there.

“If you’re worried about cheating, you’re better off spending the $1000 or so for this mattress towards something else — like a private investigator or a Dropcam or something,” said another.

Hey Alphabet, do you smell that new opportunity for Nest?

Re/code review: Nest Cam

This article originally appeared on Recode.net.

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