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If the CEOs of Theranos and Zenefits Were Dogs, What Breeds Would They Be?


WilleeCole Photography/Shutterstock

When I was a kid, my sister once dressed up in a dog costume that made her look exactly like our neighbor’s dog, a lovely bearded collie named Pearl.

Ever since then, I have been possessed by one question and one question alone: If the executives of ailing tech companies were dogs, what breeds would they be?

Thanks to Microsoft, I finally have an answer. The company has a new website and app that looks at photos of dogs and assesses which breed they are: It uses the same technology that Microsoft used for its website last year. It’s a nifty marketing stunt to remind you that there is a search engine not named Google and that it, too, uses advanced technology.

Here’s a list of troubled tech execs, with Microsoft’s guesses as to their breed of dog:

Elizabeth Holmes, founder and CEO of Theranos

Inc and Microsoft

Recently fired Zenefits founder and CEO Parker Conrad

CNBC and Microsoft

GoPro CEO Nick Woodman

Forbes and Microsoft

Clinkle founder and CEO Lucas Duplan

Twitter and Microsoft

CEO of Twitter and Square Jack Dorsey

CNBC and Microsoft

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