"Trump doesn’t ask for anything, and that includes permission before putting his unwelcome, Tic Tac-crusted mouthhole on a female he barely knows," Samantha Bee said on Monday’s episode of Full Frontal.
Bee dedicated a full segment to the leaked 2005 audio that surfaced last week of Donald Trump boasting about sexual assault to a chortling Billy Bush (as well as a follow-up segment to the GOP fallout over the tape). She took the two men to task for everything from Bush’s following Trump’s lead on the "boner bus" to Trump’s stiff and unnatural apology to Trump’s history of telling people that he doesn’t like to make apologies, and, zooming out a bit, to Trump’s general inability to craft coherent policies.
"In fact, ‘Take a Tic Tac and grab them by the pussy’ is the closest thing to a plan Trump has described this election," Bee said.
Bee didn’t let Trump’s surrogates off the hook, either. She made clear that behind Trump, there’s a campaign steered by Roger Ailes, the ex-Fox News chief who left the channel after more than two dozen women accused him of sexual harassment.
"Of course, Roger Ailes! Of the esteemed PR firm Ailes, Cosby, Polanski, and Gibson," Bee quipped before turning her attention to the several broadcast news anchors and reporters who have had to skirt FCC rules and regulations in order to report on the Trump tape, by coming up with all kinds of euphemisms for female genitalia (some reporters are better at this than others).
Bee rattled off a glorious litany of slang and nicknames for a vagina (I can’t think of one she missed) before settling on "box," as in ballot box — because despite all the insults you can fling at Trump, Bee said, and no matter how sleazy you think he and his campaign are, it’s all for naught if you don't vote in November.
And with that, Bee concluded the segment with a simple observation: "That was literally a vagina monologue."