Denny's toast

Former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R-IL) speaks with reporters after delivering his farewell address to Congress November 15, 2007. (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
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Former US House Speaker Dennis "Denny" Hastert has been indicted for charges related to his alleged payment of millions in hush money to someone blackmailing him about "past misconduct" by Hastert against the blackmailer.
[Chicago Tribune / Jason Meisner]
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You can read the full indictment here.
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The blackmailer, identified in the indictment as "Individual A," has known Hastert and lived in Yorkville, Illinois — where Hastert was a high school teacher and coach from 1965 to 1981 — for most of his life.
[Vox / Dylan Matthews]
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Nowhere in the indictment does it actually say what dirt Individual A had on Hastert, or why Hastert was so intent on keeping it a secret.
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Hastert withdrew about $1.7 million from 2010 to 2014 and provided it to Individual A, according to the indictment.
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Initially, he made fifteen $50,000 withdrawals from 2010 to 2012 (for a total of $750,000), and gave it to Individual A every six weeks or so, but after bank representatives questioned him about the withdrawals he allegedly started taking out less than $10,000 at a time.
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Banks are required to report and look into any cash withdrawals in excess of $10,000; evading that requirement, as Hastert allegedly did, is a federal felony.
[Washington Post / Radley Balko]
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Structuring is one count of the indictment. The other is lying to the FBI about it.
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When the FBI asked if the point of the withdrawals was "to store cash because he did not feel safe with the banking system, as he previously indicated," Hastert allegedly replied, ""Yeah … I kept the cash. That’s what I’m doing."
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Hastert resigned leadership of the House Republicans after losing his majority in the 2006 midterms, and declined to run for reelection in 2008. Since then, he's been a lobbyist in DC.
[AP / David Espo]
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Frequently overshadowed by his Majority Leader, Tom DeLay, Hastert is perhaps best remembered for the "Hastert rule" under which the House GOP leadership is supposed to only take up legislation backed by a majority of Republicans. However, Hastert has insisted, "the Hastert rule didn't exist."
[Washington Post / Juliet Eilperin]
FIFA frolics

FIFA President Sepp Blatter speaks during the 65th FIFA Congress Opening Ceremony at Theater 11 on May 28, 2015 in Zurich. (Philipp Schmidli/Getty Images)
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Despite the slew of recent FIFA arrest, the group's head Sepp Blatter is not stepping down, and is expected to be reelected tomorrow.
[NYT / Sam Borden]
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Vladimir Putin condemned the arrests as "an obvious attempt to prevent the reelection" of Blatter.
[WSJ / Paul Sonne]
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US Soccer is backing Prince Ali bin al-Hussein of Jordan for FIFA president, rather than Blatter.
[NYT / Sam Borden]
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Allegations of corruption have dogged Blatter since his election in 1998.
[Vox / Libby Nelson]
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Why the US is the one doing the prosecuting: "This is a case in which US individuals and a US company conspired to commit crimes with foreign co-conspirators, using US financial institutions, in order to exploit US and foreign markets."
[Vox / Amanda Taub]
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The indictments so far don't go all the way to the top, but that's common in conspiracy cases, as it lets investigators "build cases against more senior officials on a foundation of information obtained from prosecutions of lower-level people."
[Vox / Amanda Taub]
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The organization is facing pressure from big sponsors like Coke and Visa.
[FT / Ben McLannahan, James Shotter, and Simon Mundy]
Misc.
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Sentences Teen Corner: What are the teens up to this week? Summoning Mexican demons, that's what.
[NY Mag / Jessica Roy]
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This is an extremely unpersuasive but very unintentionally funny argument that the British should abandon tea as a "relic of our colonial past."
[The Guardian / Joel Golby]
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Many coupons have a cash value of $0.00001 — because of the late 19th century equivalent of frequent flyer miles.
[Now I Know / Dan Lewis]
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Bernie Sanders once got slapped in the face by a Democratic activist at a Jesse Jackson rally.
[MSNBC / Alex Seitz-Wald]
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DC is considering putting up a gondola to link Rosslyn, Virginia to Georgetown because why the hell not.
[Washington Post / Perry Stein]
Verbatim
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"I have not earned the right to be referred to as your 'Mom’. I’m more like your crazy aunt. So you shall not call me 'Mom’. No, it’s Aunt Becky."
[Taylor Swift]
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"It's safe to go in the library in Swanton, now that the bees are gone."
[AP]
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"My partner that day snatched an 18-year-old kid off crutches and assaulted him, simply for stating the fact that he was home alone."
[Vox / Redditt Hudson]
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"I need feminism because I intend on marrying rich and I can't do that if my wife and I are making .75 cent for every dollar a man makes."
[Caitlyn Cannon]
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"I'd say, 'Bernard, maybe the first thing you should say is 'Good morning' or something.' But he'd say, 'We're. Not. Crazy.'"
[Richard Sugarman to Mother Jones / Tim Murphy]
Song of the Day
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Sufjan Stevens, "Come On! Feel The Illinoise!"
[YouTube]
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