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Sen. Rand Paul has a lot to be upset about this year. He's behind Donald Trump, Sen. Ted Cruz, and even New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie in the polls. He's a libertarian skeptical of new military spending in a party that's largely in favor of it. And so on December 23, the Seinfeld-inspired holiday of Festivus, he is airing his grievances in an annual ritual.
Except his grievances about the presidential race were mostly just insults (and jokes) about Trump's use of "schlonged," Ted Cruz's Canadianness, and Hillary Clinton's bathroom habits:
Good morning and HAPPY #Festivus! I will be airing my grievances soon.
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
"I've got a lot of problems with you people and now you're gonna hear about them!" #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
But first, my fellow Presidential candidates get the #Festivus treatment!
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
Where to start but @realDonaldTrump. If u bring the Yiddish, know what it means. Guess that's more of a kvetch than a grievance #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
After the debates, @realDonaldTrump always trying to give us parting gifts of his made in China ties. Weird. #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
My friend @tedcruz has still not pledged to issue exec order declaring Canadian "bacon" is not real bacon. Makes me suspicious. #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
I have no grievances against my fellow doc @RealBenCarson because I have not heard a word he has said in any debate. #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
I think I speak for all in NJ when I say @GovChristie I don't care how much $ u spend at Met Life, Cowboys fans should stay out. #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
to my absentee friend @marcorubio, I didn't put your $170k+ salary in my waste report today. But I could have #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
to my comrade @SenSanders: Unless you're Santa Claus, Socialism runs out of other people's money #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
.@CarlyFiorina has ZERO trouble making it back from commercial breaks @HillaryClinton. Just saying. #Festivus #waronwomensrooms
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
.@JebBush is always trying to change the debate rules to allow extra time for awkward pauses in answers. Not gonna happen. #Festivus
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
Then Paul had an actual grievance: federal spending he considers wasteful.
Read the entire #AiringofGrievances Wasterbook here: https://t.co/EASIHlsH9C It's a #Festivus collection of gov. waste worth shouting about!
— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
