On Monday, a new chapter in the Girl Scouts' ongoing reign of baking-related terror was written, as the organization announced two new gluten-free "cookies" and a third new cookie that incorporates the carcasses of shriveled grapes.
"The two new gluten-free offerings include: Toffee-tastic, buttery cookies with toffee bits, and Trios, made with real peanut butter, chocolate chips, and whole grain oats," the organization announced in a press release. "The third new cookie, Rah-Rah Raisins, is an oatmeal raisin cookie with whole grain oats, plump, juicy raisins, and Greek yogurt–flavored chunks."
Why someone would think the words "raisin," "Greek yogurt," and "chunks," would be appealing on their own is beyond us. Combining those words to describe a cookie is to gaze into the dark hivemind of the Girl Scouts. Also "Rah-Rah Raisins"?
The new Girl Scout cookies will debut during National Girl Scout Cookie Weekend, which takes place February 27 through March 1. Though these "cookies" come from a dark gluten-free place, their revenues will go toward to local councils, troops, and communities. But the money you spend on classic flavors, like Thin Mints and Peanut Butter Patties (Tagalongs), will also go to these good causes, so fight the good fight. Big Raisin can't win every battle.