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Listen to Bill de Blasio perform a dramatic reading of an Onion article about him

Despite days of hype and preemptive road and subway closures, Winter Storm Juno didn't end up being too bad for New York City. So by Tuesday afternoon, the mood was light enough for Mayor Bill de Blasio to poke fun at himself — by dramatically reading an article from the Onion that satirized his own warnings about the storm.

The article, titled "NYC Mayor: 'Reconcile Yourselves With Your God, For All Will Perish In The Tempest,'" invented several de Blasio quotes that the mayor read out with relish. "The furious hoarfrost bearing down upon us knows neither mercy nor reason, and all within the five boroughs will perish, cowering in their brittle dwellings," he said. Listen below:

"This shall be a tempest the likes of which has never been glimpsed by man or beast," de Blasio continued. "Clutch your babes close to your breast and take small comfort in knowing that they will howl for but a few hours before death becalms them forever." Thankfully, the outcome was a bit more low-key than that.