"What even is the moon?"
If the QVC shopping network is not the first media resource you would turn to in trying to answer that question, then congratulations: you make good life decisions.
On Monday, QVC hosts Isaac Mizrahi and Shawn Killinger accidentally waded into a discussion of the moon's status as "a planet" or "a star" in the course of trying to sell some cardigans. It did not go well for them.
You probably already know that the moon is in fact a natural satellite orbiting the earth. But for Mizrahi and Killinger, that information was mind-blowingly new.
The segment is basically uninterrupted perfection from 7:17 to 8:52, but the following lines stand out as particularly amazing:
- "The moon is a planet darling. The mooooon is a plaaaaahhnet honeyyyy."
- "I don't know what the sun is."
- "Chuckie. If you're listening to me, I need you to GOOGLE THE MOON OKAY."
- "The moon is such a planet I can't even STAND it."
- "Well what else is it if it's not a planet?"
- "I believe it's a star! Or...something."
- "Didn't you ever do that thing in grade school with the planets where there's Uranus, and Saturn, and then the one with the rings, and then the earth and then THE MOON IS NEVER IN THERE DUDE."
- "What is it then, a baseball? Cheese?"
- They discover the truth at 8:36: "The moon is WHAT? A natural satellite? What does THAT mean?"
- "But THINGS LIVE ON IT! That means it's a planet!"
- "Is that what Google said? No, I don't like that at all. At all. I don't even know what that means!"
- "I use Google all the time. I feel bad. I feel bad for Yahoo because they're good too! I just don't use them."
- "Well, it's an education."
And thank goodness for that.