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Tired of straining for minutes just to capture the best belfie possible?
Well, you're in luck: the BelfieStick is here, and it wants to help you take the best belfie possible.
No more having to ask a friend to help you set up the shot. This device will help you take amazing belfies all by your belf!
Yes, the BelfieStick ...
1) Wait a second! What the heck is a belfie?
The word "belfie" is a portmanteaux of the words "butt" and "selfie." It is a selfie that is taken from behind in such a way as to accentuate the buttocks and their surrounding areas.
Not every picture taken of a person's backside is a belfie. The image must be taken by the butt-owner to count as a belfie. Otherwise it is just a picture with a butt in it.
2) When did belfies become a thing?
The belfie was popularized in October 2013 when Kim Kardashian posted an Instagram picture showing off her post-baby-delivery body.
Kim's idea caught on, and other female celebrities quickly followed suit with belfies of their own.
3) Can you show me some other examples?
Sure! And we'll show you the most popular belfie angles, too.
Here is a belfie from Nicki Minaj in the traditional, standing, over-the-shoulder pose.
And one from Rihanna, in the classic shirt-lifted-to-expose-undergarments pose.
One of the most famous belfie takers is a woman named Jen Selter, who currently has over 5 million followers on her Instagram account.
4) These are all women. Do men take belfies?
Yes.
Here is Aaron Renfree, of S Club 8 fame, in the less traditional but still valid lying-face-down-with-butt-peeking-over-shoulder pose.
However, a quick google search will show you that many more women than men take belfies.
The magazine Complex says men should only take belfies if their intentions are humorous.
The unironic male belfie is unacceptable. Even turning thirty degrees to the side and lifting up your shirt a bit to show off your squat work is a no-no. Men: do not take belfies under any circumstances. If you feel you have a nice ass, then find a way to get photographed wearing some tight jeans while playing pick-up football in the backyard, a la Brett Favre, or while working on a farm somewhere. Feel free to get creative when thinking of ways to show off that hard-earned ass, but under no circumstances should you be taking a gym belfie.
This, of course, is gender bullshit. What Complex fails to say is that belfies are pretty strange to look at no matter the gender of the butt's owner.
Exhibit A.
Alan Carr recreates Kim Kardashian's belfie. (Mirror)
5) How are people taking belfies without a belfiestick?
Yes, Kim makes belfies look easy, but that doesn't mean they are!
As Talor Lorenz notes at Business Insider, a belfie is "inherently a very advanced level of selfie." Like all fine art, belfies require countless hours of study to truly master. If you don't have the time to commit to developing the skill, then it's good to have help. You can use a camera with a timer, or ask a friend to help you set up your shot.
Or, you can just buy the BelfieStick.
6) OK, I'm ready. What is a BelfieStick?
According to social networking site On.com, which markets the gizmo, the BelfieStick's "unique design makes it easy to take pics of your bum in any angle." Here is what it looks like.
With the BelfieStick, you will never again have to settle for a medicore selfie of your backside! (On.com)
As you can see, this is quite the contraption. The bendable arm allows virtually unfettered access to all of those parts of the backside that have always laid just out of reach.
You can pre-order your BelfieStick here for $79.99.
7) What are people saying about the BelfieStick?
Here is a testimonial on BelfieStick's website from belfie enthusiast Ellen.
I can't believe they invented this, it's totally insane! Everyone is hurtin holding their phones trying to get the right precise angle. Bend over, snap a pic & done! Belfiestick rulez!!!
Marcos is also happy about the product.
I got my squat game down on lock shooting belfies every day to check up on my progress! I am so totally in love with this product, my girlfriend agrees it's totally bad ass!
Not everyone is thrilled about the BelfieStick, though. John Lagere, CEO of T-Mobile, numbers among the nonbelievers.
You’re taking it too far, world! #belfie http://t.co/1eKjsv6oEj
— John Legere (@JohnLegere) January 8, 2015
Actor Chris Messina told people not to buy him the gadget for his birthday.
Guys, if you were wondering what to get me for my birthday, you DO NOT need to get me a #Belfie Stick. pic.twitter.com/uz9L45HBGv
— Chris Messina™ (@chrismessina) January 7, 2015
Kate Knibbs, waxing poetic at Gizmodo, invoked T.S. Eliot to explain her slow-building horror:
This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang but with a selfie stick for your butt.
8) No one is really going to buy this ... right?
We're obsessed with snapping pictures of ourselves. Nearly 1 trillion selfies were taken in 2014, according to recent estimates. And while there isn't a hard number for the number of belfies being taken, a quick search on Twitter and Instagram will show you that belfies are everywhere.
So if you thought this was an unnecessary product no one would buy, think again. The BelfieStick is currently sold out.