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Prank Mystery Tech Soap Opera Early Clues to Be Acquired By ...

Everyone wants Early Clues. Or do they?

For anyone who wants weekend reading, there appears to be a lovely little short story popping up on Medium via some startup pranksters, founders of a company called Early Clues.

First, the startup posted it had been acquired by Google with a pretty standard Tim Ferris-esque headline: “How our startup was bought by Google without even trying …

In the story, a robot calls Early Clues:

A robotic voice sounded …

“At the tone, your company will have been bought by Google …”

Followed by a beeeeep, a hang-up, and then … nothing.

I looked at the screen — what the hell?

I joined the others back at the bonfire made up largely of extra office furniture and unimportant financial documents.

[They call Google back.]

“Welcome to the Google family.”

“Yes, b-but, how much … how much did we sell our souls for, finally?

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t have that information.”

“You don’t? Who does?”

“One moment please.”


“I’m transferring you to my manager, sir. He’ll be able to answer all your questions. Oh, and sir, have an excellent day!”


Manager, finally. Thank God.

“Welcome to Google, sir. We’re delighted to have purchased your company. How can I help you today?”

“Hi, thanks. Uh, I’m calling to find out how much you’re giving us. The robot that called me last night, uh, didn’t give us a lot of details, and we’re kind of …”

Then they “answered some questions” about the acquisition and announced they would buy their company back with Kickstarter funds.

Then Facebook moved in on the fake company. Now, naturally, Dunkin Donuts.

I’ve emailed Early Clues for comment. Maybe it’s not satire! I hope that’s the case. In the meantime, godspeed on your acquisition plans.

This article originally appeared on

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