As college students head back to campus, John Oliver has some bad news for them: "Essentially, student debt is like HPV. If you go to college, you're almost certainly going to get it. And if you do, it will follow you for the rest of your life." Then he compares student debt to LBJ's testicles.
Most of the segment is a takedown of for-profit colleges, which enroll about 13 percent of all college students but a much larger percentage of student loan borrowing and defaults.
At the end, though, Oliver offers his advice to freshmen: "Drink beer from a funnel. Kidnap a mascot. Find out if you're gay or not, and even if you're not, have some gay experiences. … Become that weird guy on campus who rides a unicycle from class to class. Find out whoever the Winklevoss twins of your school are and steal their idea for a website."
