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Microsoft on the "Threshold" of Bad Spoken Word Postering for Windows 9

Show of hands for those who want a "deeply personal, universally human way of operating?"

The next major version of Microsoft Windows — called “Threshold” — isn’t set to come out until next spring. But that has not stopped the company from testing out some very touchy-feely tag lines for it.

Consider this poster making the rounds internally touting the latest operating system, called Windows 9, which will replace the much-maligned Windows 8 (which ZDNet’s Mary Jo Foley recently called “Microsoft’s Vista 2.0”).

Feeling a lot more like it came from the fictional Hooli of HBO’s “Silicon Valley” than the once rough-and-tough software giant, the poster echoes a lot of the long and dreamy missives released recently by new CEO Satya Nadella.

In them, the longtime Microsoft veteran is trying his best to shake some New Age bromides about change into the very static world of Redmond, Wash. And this poster certainly keeps up the effort, noting “it would be easy to do what we’ve always done” and adding that the “world doesn’t need another operating system.”

Begging the question of whether the world needs an operating system at all anymore, what we all apparently do need is a “deeply personal, universally human way of operating.”

(I just want my smartphone to stop pinging me when Marc Andreessen starts up with his tweetstorm lectures about journalismism, so I can personally ignore them — but bokay!)

It’s a tough task, but Microsofties are on the case: “How we get there won’t be easy. Nothing important ever is. That’s why you’re here.”

Why? One guess and the first two don’t count: “Because the world needs Windows.”

Now, there’s the Microsoft I know.

This article originally appeared on

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