// HAPPENING TODAY
- Amazon, Baidu and NetSuite all report earnings.
- Jerry Seinfeld is doing a Reddit AMA.
- The House Oversight Committee is holding a hearing on a topic close to many tech company hearts: The FTC as “Prosecutor, Judge, and Jury.”
Apple-Swatch Rumor: Takes a Licking, Keeps On … Erm, Nope
Back in 2004, Microsoft partnered with Swatch to develop the ill-starred “Paparazzi” smartwatch — a miserable failure of a timepiece that promised wearers “exclusive entertainment information and the opportunity to meet celebrities.” A decade later, has Apple entered into a similar alliance with the Swiss watchmaker to develop the mythical iWatch? VentureBeat claims it has. But evidently that’s news to Swatch. “VentureBeat is wrong – Swatch Group is not working with Apple on a smartwatch or any smart device,” a company spokesperson told Code/red. Which doesn’t mean that the two companies haven’t spoken. They have. Swatch CEO Nick Hayek said last year that the company has occasionally chatted with Apple about materials as well as technology that generates energy from physical movement.
But I Don’t Cry at Layoffs and, by Extension, Movies About Layoffs
Cisco CEO John Chambers: “I cry at movies.”
Fine, I’ll Say It: Jar Jar Binks for Senate
Christopher Ingraham, the Washington Post: “On Tuesday FiveThirtyEight released the results of a poll of Americans’ opinions on the ‘Star Wars’ universe. Not surprisingly, Jar Jar Binks is the most reviled character in the series. … On the other hand, with a net favorability of -8, Jar Jar is considerably more popular than the U.S. Congress, which currently enjoys a net favorability rating of -65.”
If a “Twitter That We Can Be Proud of Is Diverse and Inclusive,” What’s One That’s Largely White and Male?
Twitter has finally disclosed its diversity numbers and — surprise! — they’re awful. Released Wednesday afternoon amid a vast slurry of Facebook earnings news, the numbers reveal Twitter’s workforce is 70 percent male and 59 percent white. The breakdown is even worse within the company’s leadership, where 79 percent of top managers are male and 72 percent of them white. “At Twitter, we have a goal to reach every person on the planet,” Twitter VP Janet Van Huysse said in a shiny-happy-people-holding-hands post to the company’s blog. “We believe that goal is more attainable with a team that understands and represents different cultures and backgrounds. A Twitter that we can be proud of is diverse, and it’s inclusive.”
Told You Apple Was Doomed Without a Low-Cost iPhone for Emerging Markets
Reuters: “Apple’s latest quarterly results showed sales of its high-end phones in China grew at nearly twice the pace analysts had expected. Meanwhile, budget offerings from Chinese firms won at the cheaper end, effectively squeezing industry leader Samsung.”
And Unlike Pens, Fingers Also Great for Maintaining Effective Personal Hygiene
Nick Bilton, the New York Times: “Unlike pens, fingers don’t run out of ink, they’re free and you always have one with you.”
Just the BlackBerry — The Dell Latitude D600, You Can Keep
Tom Kaneshige, BlackBerry: “At a well-known investment firm in New York City, something strange is happening: Mobile app performance issues and privacy concerns have sparked a Bring Your Own Device (BYOD) revolt, and now many employees are asking for their corporate BlackBerry back.”
No, Your Other Left, Dumbass
Dhanya Thoppil, the Wall Street Journal: “Indian startup Ducere Technologies Pvt. is going to start selling its Bluetooth enabled Lechal shoes for more than $100 a pair in September. The shoes sync up with the Google Maps smartphone app and vibrate to tell users when and where to turn to reach their destination.”
What an Unusually Pungent Camembert …
Marissa Fessenden, The Daily Dot: “Gallery viewers had the choice to examine each cheese. Do you fancy the whey cream cheese labeled ‘Christina,’ or perhaps ‘Ben,’ a natural-rind cheese? Odd names, but the cheeses themselves are perhaps even stranger. They’re named for the people who swabbed between their toes, in their mouths, armpits, and belly buttons to gather bacteria to make the cheese.”
Google Interview Question: How Many Halves Does a Brain Have?
Sergey Brin: “We want Google to be the third half of your brain.”
Pouch-Spewed Protein — It’s What’s for Dinner
Adele Peters, Fast Company: “A new project from designer Johanna Schmeer imagines what that food might look like in the future. … In one of her products, a set of bright green nozzles drizzles syrup from a spongy white shape that looks a little like a giant peanut. Another device sprays out a cloud of red vitamins, while a third product squirts out protein from a tiny pouch.”
This article originally appeared on Recode.net.