On Monday, Justice Alito, writing for a 5-4 majority on the Supreme Court, decided that closely-held corporations are people — or close enough to people — to enjoy religious protections.
On Sunday night, HBO's John Oliver anticipated the ruling. "If corporations want to be people, they should have to take the rough with the smooth," he said. "Female companies, you only get to make 83 cents on the dollar, Sorry Wendy's. I guess Burger King just worked harder. And there are also the little annoyances of being human. So Mr. Peanut, I hope you enjoy attending your friends' shitty improv shows."
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