On Wednesday, Apple confirmed that it was buying the headphone and streaming music company Beats, the lovechild of rap genius Dr. Dre and part-time American Idol judge Jimmy Iovine, for $3 billion.
"It’s like finding the precise grain of sand on the beach. They’re rare and very hard to find," Tim Cook said about the acquisition, as though people go to the beach hoping to find precise grains of sand.
Broken analogies aside, people were already ready to chime in and have a little fun with the most expensive acquisition in Apple history. The AP helped fuel the fire with this (unintentionally) hilarious tweet:
BREAKING: Apple seeks to regain cool with $3 billion purchase of headphone maker, music streamer Beats http://t.co/fIQin9p5Sg— The Associated Press (@AP) May 28, 2014
That opened up a whole different avenue of jokes at Apple's expense.
Brian "seeks to regain cool" with $29.99 purchase of cargo shorts.— Brian Ries (@moneyries) May 28, 2014
There were also Mad Men:
There's just one condition: Beats has to keep Ted Chaough pic.twitter.com/FjUuczdlSW— Dan Amira (@DanAmira) May 28, 2014
And even some sardonic digs at some tech punditry:
Still can't believe Dre killed the Beats deal by bragging about it. Huge business blunder.— Philip Bump (@pbump) May 28, 2014
Ellen DeGeneres even got a cheesy jab in there (which got some 1.2k retweets, proving her cheesy jokes are still more popular than 99 percent of Twitter)
Amazing news for music! Apple just bought Beats! They can call it Appleats! Or Beeple! The name can come later.— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) May 28, 2014
Finally, this picture just says it all:
So what’s Tim Cook clearly trying to hide on his wrist? pic.twitter.com/Xo46KAmho2— Doney den Ouden (@Dexwell_) May 28, 2014