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This is the future of beds

A person who thinks it's OK to wear shoes in his new  SmartBed. Joe Katan/Balluga
A person who thinks it's OK to wear shoes in his new SmartBed. Joe Katan/Balluga
Joe Katan/Balluga

There are two kinds of beds in the universe. There's the one you have, which sucks. And then there's the Balluga: the world's smartest interactive bed. If you are into the first kind of bed, don't worry about reading any further — just go be lame on your tediously unoriginal mattress. But if having Wifi, surround sound, massage capabilities, and health monitoring in your bed sounds like a good time, then read on to see just what inventor Joe Katan has created here.

1. It's a mattress made of layers of inflatable balls

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Balluga beds are composed of hundreds of inflatable balls. Joe Katan/Balluga

The Balluga bed is composed of an advanced air-filled ball suspension system that conforms to your body's unique shape while you sleep. (And if you don't agree with the bed's conforming choices, you can always adjust the mattress yourself with the simple touch of a button.) The balls themselves — called air cells — are made of a hybrid material that gives them a rigid quality even as they remain completely stressless. These air cells never sink or sag, so every time you lie down on your Balluga, it feels like you're climbing onto a cloud that was just fluffed especially for you by your cuddly pet unicorn.

2.  There's a built-in climate control system

You know that thing where you keep flipping over your pillow to get to the cool side because you can't sleep unless every part of your body is at its optimal temperature enjoyment? OK, so the Balluga is like that thing, except the entire mattress IS ALWAYS THE COOL SIDE OF THE PILLOW.

So how is the temperature of the beds controlled? Katan says Balluga doesn't use the standard air circulation systems because those cause airborne dust contamination of both the bed itself and your bed sheets. What Balluga beds do is "circulate normal household tap water past a special cooling and heating microchip," says Katan. "This microchip is monitored by an electronic shutdown safety system, which is operated within a sealed non-accessible compartment at least 25 cm below the mattress surface." That means it's safer than electric coil blankets since those operate directly beneath your skin.

In case your eyes glazed over during that tech-y jargon, here's the upshot: your Balluga bed will always keep you at the perfect temperature. No more tossing off or desperately adding on blankets to do the trick.

3.  It can be taken apart in chunks for cleaning

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It's super easy to clean your Balluga balls. Joe Katan/Balluga

Balluga beds are designed for easy cleaning. The modular construction of Balluga allows you to take it apart in sections and clean each cluster of balls individually. You might not have to clean it too much, though: Balluga beds are allergen- and infestation-free (sorry, allergen fans). Also, says Katan, the bed itself gets plenty of ventilation due to the structure of the suspension system.

4. It's a TV and game controller too

That thing when you're gaming and you crash into a mountain and the controller vibrates and you giggle? This bed can do that — the vibrate thing, not the crash into a mountain thing.

Balluga beds function as entertainment systems. The air-cells can actually pulsate in-sync with your music or your gaming. And the beds can actually project video content onto the ceiling above your head, so you don't have to contort your body into a weird position to watch movies as you fall asleep. And don't worry about the movie staying on all night — Balluga will turn it off after it senses you've fallen asleep. Katan also told me he's developing motion-sensor software that will allow users to control the bed with gestures. Which means we will have more places to use our Jedi skills other than the automated doors at supermarkets.

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A person falls asleep next to the tranquility of a projected beach scene.. Joe Katan/Balluga

5. Your doctor can monitor your sleep from a different location

No, it's not like one of those sleep studies. Katan explains: "Once you connect with the router, an external connection can be made thru an app. Your doctor can then take all sorts of data from your bed: your temperature, heart rate, etc." Then, Katan says, the doctor can even communicate with you through the Balluga's built-in surround sound system.

6. It will keep you from burning to death

Your new bed from the future is able to sync up with your smoke detector and will tell you to wake up if a fire breaks out. It will also alert you if someone is trying to break into your house. No word yet on whether or not the Balluga is able to bust out Kung Fu on intruders. Fingers crossed!

*BONUS: It's not insanely expensive

Models of the bed start at $1,000, and lease options are available.

**OPPOSITE OF BONUS: You might end up looking like this

A person looks like this on a Balluga bed. Joe Katan/Balluga