It's American tradition to complain endlessly about Thanksgiving/Christmas/Hanukkah holiday stress, but it's rare to hear someone point out just how miserable New Year's Eve truly is.
Enter John Oliver, who likens December 31 to "the death of a pet. You know it's going to happen, but somehow you're never truly prepared for how truly awful it is."
He goes on to explain, "New Year's Eve is the worst. It combines three of the least pleasant things known to mankind: Forced interaction with strangers; being drunk, cold and tired; and having to stare at Ryan Seacrest for five solid minutes, waiting for him to tell you what the time is."
Fair point. But Oliver doesn't just complain. He also offers what sounds like a foolproof solution for those who want to get out of making plans with friends on the 31st: "Simply tell them you’re doing a cleanse. The beauty is, there will be no follow-up questions because nobody wants to hear about your fucking cleanse. "