Try not to swallow your tongue when you see this.
[via]
If I were the kind of guy to use my illustration and design abilities for evil – say, to cruelly perpetuate heart-stopping rumors – I hope I would do it with this degree of skill and finesse. This is just wicked. Mad props to the Photoshop artist that produced this.
Aaaaaand, who represents the contrived cast of this spurious sequel?
Supposedly:
Johnny Depp as The Riddler
Angelina Jolie as Catwoman
Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin
Hmm. That's quite a talented trio, but there’s quite a bit of talent wrapped up in the three actors who previously played those roles, as well. Jim Carrey, Michelle Pfeiffer and Danny DeVito are all superstars in their own rights. And considering how superior Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker was over that of the great Jack Nicholson, one can’t help but wonder how the performances of Depp, Jolie and Hoffman would compare.
Having thought it over for at least three minutes, I’ve concluded the following:
Johnny Depp definitely has the ability to do with the Riddler what he did with Sweeney Todd – that is, take an already crazy-scary character and make him even crazier-scarier. Unfortunately, he also has it in him to do to the Riddler what he did to Willy Wonka – that is, take a crazy-creepy character and mercilessly pervert him into an androgynous, latex-gloved, closet pedophile. Wait… does the Riddler wear gloves? Never mind. Doesn’t matter. Point is it could go either way.
Chance of Depp outshining Carrey as the Riddler: 50%
Angelina Jolie as Catwoman is not exactly what you’d call a risky casting move. In fact, I sort of wonder who the hell else they would pick for that one. My daughter Amanda mentioned an actress (whose name I can’t recall now) the other night and all I could think was, “It takes more than a pretty face to be Catwoman.” And, see, if Michelle Pfeiffer had that something extra, then Jolie’s got it in spades.
Chance of Jolie outshining Pfeiffer as Catwoman: 98%
Philip Seymour Hoffman is a master thespian. I just want to make that perfectly clear. But, honestly, casting him as Mr. Freeze would be better than casting him as ol’ Cobblepot. The first and most important reason is that he has the same problem Nicholson had, only reversed: he’s too damn tall for his character! Secondly, while he’s certainly round in the right places, he’s simply not pointy enough in others. Finally, wouldn't everyone just see Truman Capote with a monocle and cigarette holder?
Chance of Hoffman outshining DeVito as the Penguin: 2%
