"some people see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were ans ask why not?"

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."

"people may say you are going the wrong way, when it's simply a path of your own."

"Don't send your previous time asking 'why isn't the world a better place?' It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is 'how can I make it better?' To that there is an answer."

"don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant."

"the truly important things in life - love, beauty, and one's own uniqueness - are constantly being overlooked.

"if something is wrong, fix it if you can. but train yourself not to worry. worry never fixes anything."

"don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was."

"a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimists sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

"the mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and hell of Heaven."

"say what you mean and mean what you say."

"speak when you are angry and yo will make the best speech you will ever regret."

"the successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like to do. they don't like doing them either necessarily. but their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose."

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Throughout my day at Islands of Adventure yesterday, I saw families walking around together. Some of them were laughing and having a good time and others were visibly frustrated at one another. Even though I had a great time with my son, I couldn't help but wish my whole family was there together.

At one point, I saw a dad pushing a stroller, desperately trying to make his way through the crowds, while a child of about one slept soundly in the shaded seat, totally oblivious to the chaos around him. Having been in that position myself, I moved out of the way and let him pass. He looked at me with a thankful look on his red, sweaty face and did his best to move on through the hordes of people. I watched him go and a pang of nostalgia gripped my heart.

My children are ages 20, 16 and 12. The way they are spaced apart, it seemed like we had one in a stroller for at least 10 years running. I remember those years well and the constant attention that it required to bring up a child. Now that they are older though, it seems like the time just flew by.

The worst part for me yesterday was seeing all of the dads with their daughters. I don't even know how to write this without making it sound like I am partial to my daughter over my sons. The only thing I can say is that I love my children eually, but there is just something different in the father/daughter relationship. 

We came off of one ride and a father and his daughter of about 10 were walking toward us. She was excited about something and she was talking loudly, waving her arms as she spoke. Then, about the time they got beside us, the dad leaned over and said something to her that I couldn't hear. I knew right away, however, that it was something goofy because the girl stopped walking, rolled her eyes, put her hands on her hips and said, "You're so silly Daddy!" I thought I was going to break down in tears right then. I don't know how many times I've heard Amanda say that to me.

Saying goofy things used to be (and still is) one of my favorite things to do with my daughter. For example, any time I was around Amanda when she threw something, the words that always came out of my mouth were, "You throw like a girl."

She always answered with a heavy sigh and a loud, "I am a girl."

I know, it's goofy and it's dumb, but what can I say? I am eternally afflicted with the overwhelming desire to say goofy and dumb things to my daughter. She appreciates it too. I know because yesterday I talked to her on the phone after we left the park and she was telling me about an older gentlemen that she and her husband knew. Out of nowhere, she says, "He says all of these corny things. I think you would really like him."

Feigning surprise, I said, "What? What is that supposed to mean?"

She just laughed and kind of struggled with her words, "Well... you know... I mean... you would just like him."

To be honest, I have tried the goofy remark thing with the boys, but they just don't appreciate it. I think it must be something that God only intended for dads and their daughters. With the boys, I kid around, but we have a different kind of relationship. 

No matter what kind of relationship I have with my children, one thing is certain. I am thankful to God Almighty for allowing me the priveledge of being part of their lives. My life has been, and continues to be, all the richer because I am a dad.  

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This is my letter that I want to send to all the companies, firms or organisation which rejected or ignored my job application.

(My address)

(Company Address)                                                                                        date

Dear Sir/Madam,

Re: Job application no. 1234

Thank you for taking your time to consider my application. If I may please you with this letter, take a chance on me. 

If you change your mind
I'm the first in line
Sir/Madam, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me let me know
Gonna be around
If you've need anyone
When you're feeling busy

I attach here with a copy of my CV. I look forward to a chance from you.

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,

X

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Unnecessary confesstion #23450678:
I still dream about you.
I don't try it. It just happens.

Wish fulfillment.
One thing Freud was right about.

On an unrelated note:
I love Flock. I uploaded/resized photos to facebook so quickly last night.
It was amazing.

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This morning I read an article on Alternet, by a man who gave up having a car: Living Without a Car: My New American Responsibility.  It was a rather insulated look at living a carless lifestyle in a city with excellent public transportation that ignored logistical realities that would make this a highly impractical choice for many Americans living in other areas for various reasons.

Many comments to this article were self-righteous, elitist, and dismissive of those who gave valid reasons of why such a drastic choice wouldn't be right for them.  Several comments seem to be an exercise in greener-than-thou one-upmanship.  

My response is as follows:

In Some Areas, Going Carless Means You Depend On People With Cars

Like many of the commenters above, I live in an area where public transportation is extremely limited, where most people live miles from their jobs and shopping areas, where taxi service is limited and expensive, where it's hot 9 months out of the year, and where much of the area is unsafe and impractical for bike travel.

Add to this the truth that most employers, at least in my area, see a person without a car as being by definition unreliable. Indeed, I've filled out job applications where applicants are asked how they will be getting to work each day, and if they have a car.

In my area, unless you live next door to your job and/or the grocery store, Wal Mart, the doctor's office, the school,etc, you spend a lot of time depending up on other people with cars, waiting around for them to come pick you up at their convenience. Instead of becoming independent, you have increased your dependence on the goodwill of people with cars.

Going carless may work in cities where public transportation is plentiful and reliable, but it's impractical in many other places. A one-size-fits-all solution won't work any better here than it does with most other sorts of problems. Nor does an all-or-nothing approach.

I drive a small car. I don't go joyriding anymore -- I plan my trips and routes carefully, so as to use the least amount of gas. I stay home more. I shop online often. These are small steps, but they are steps and they are easy and practical to do, which makes adhering to them more likely.

Thoughts?

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This morning I stressed and rushed about getting some files restored for my clients, as my team was about to exceed our SLA for such requests.

Later in the day, I pressed and cajoled to get signoff to retire some lease-end servers so we could return them on Monday when our shipping guys come in to take more than 30 servers away.

The new hire on our team was at a loss for something to do, so I launched into getting things lined up for him, and hustled him around the floor getting signoff from system owners about work he could do.

After work, I headed to the gym and pounded my little legs over and over again on the elliptical machine for thirty minutes before rushing home to do some scheduled file copies for work at 9:00PM.

I spent a couple of hours moving files from one location to another.  Their names sped across my laptop screen.

It's nearly the end of July and yet I haven't really enjoyed any of the summer weather.

So much speed, such a hurry, for things I'm not sure have the greatest meaning.

Hopefully I will be able to focus on more meaningful pursuits this weekend, like reading, meditating, journaling, cycling outside.  I need some time to slow things down, to get quiet and still so I can either find some solid direction for the future, or at least feel more confident about the direction or lack thereof.

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I have a party of interested players who should be getting together twice a month for the purpose of playing Dungeons & Dragons.  4 of 5 players have never played before, including Jillzey and her son (haha, I outed you!).  We got together last Tuesday to make characters, which was a little slow going with all the newbies, but the best thing that happened is that Jill named her character, a halfling rogue, Bixie the Tricksy.

This is awesome.

I can hardly wait to see how Bixie reacts to the situations I throw at her.

I'll keep you informed!

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Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

Randy Pausch Lecture: Time Management

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Please do not say you are going to do something and then not do it.
It seriously pisses me off.

And you just keep doing it.
Really, you guys have to know how irritating it is.
And it leads to disappointment, ok?

Ok.
That's all.
I'm going to adjust my schedule now.

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I just learnt that Randy Pausch passed away. I did not know him and I feel I did.

The Last Lecture

Randy Pausch

I had a post on Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture' pretty soon after he gave it and that lecture, VERY appropriately, went on to being watched by millions. Oprah brought him in too and yes - I watched again since I couldnt get enough.

Then just two days ago, I updated my Facebook status at how stoked I was when my wife surprised me by buying me his book. The same day I also went to see 'The Dark Knight' and it made me see some parallels:

• It seems we give attention to important things in life only when it the situation gets dire - in this case death
• Heath Ledger seems to have immortalized himself (and The Dark Knight) through death with an over dose
• Steve Jobs gave a very inspiring graduation speech at Stanford after a brush with death
  

Maybe we need to pay a wee bit attention as we live. The choice is simple and its yours to make - Be Stripe or a Rockstar? One rocktar gets it. The line of my profile borrowed from Bob Dylan - "He who's not busy being born is busy dying"

Imagine: The Last Day [Live Today as if there is No Tomorrow]

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Parthena Black - The Other Side: What If It Was Always Easy?

http://parthenablack.blogspot.com/200...

Today's daily e-mail from The Universe prompted a bit of contemplation:Would it be as much fun, Parthena, if you never stopped laughing? If there were never any clouds? If you were never challenged? If you were never alone? If you never heard the whole truth when it hurt? If you always knew what would happen, what to do, and where to go?Or would you be like, "Beam me down, Bro!" Abraham-Hicks also brings this up when referring to the Art of Allowing Both are elaborating on the concept that difficult times make us who we are. "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." I agree with this to a large extent. I've survived many challenging experiences and have been able to draw upon them not only to get through present challenges but also to help others personally and professionally. My experiences with physical disability and grief have given me an understanding of what the hospice patients I work with deal with so that I am better able than someone who has never been there to empathize with them. Some of these challenges have also turned out to be "blessings in disguise" and a great deal of my writing is based on these experiences. Without them I'd have a bit less to write about, especially since I'm not a fiction writer!I do see one pitfall - the danger of becoming jaded or indifferent. For instance, the person who consistently gives to others but does not receive the same in return when they themselves are in need may eventually isolate themselves emotionally from other people, refusing to trust and enter into friendships or relationships. A negative cycle of belief is created when one works toward changing this expectation only to have yet another hurtful experience come along that proves the original belief "right."This leads to very deep negative beliefs that are very resistant to change even with concentrated effort and then of course, the Law of Attraction would continue to bring this type of person into our lives. I'm at a loss to determine what, other...

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Things are still a bit rough around me; as far the construction and my grandmother's depression. Still life is moving and so am I. I woke up feeling happier, lighter. I'm eager to reexamine old options and seek new ones. Earlier this week I made the trek across town, with the Snickerdoodle in tow, to my school. Once again I attempted to re-enroll. However, as I figured since I never heard back from them when I applied online in February, I have a delinquent balance.

$1,903.00 to be exact.

Thus placing a big fat HOLD on my student account, record, etc.  Apparently, during my last semester there my student loans didn't cover ALL of my tuition.

Ok... breathe.

Normally, I would have walked away feeling discouraged and taking it as another sign that school.. at least college just wasn't in the cards for me. Each time that I have gone to school with all over my gusto I managed to fall short and end up burnt out and worn out before seeing the finish line. I've been staring my last year... just one year... in the face for so long that it hurts sometimes to think that I have yet to completed my Bachelors. However, on Tuesday, I didn't feel defeated. I kept looking at my daughter's eyes and said

"I got to do this for the both of us."

I talked with the financial counselor, who was so into cooing and talking with the Snickerdoodle, and I found that all I need to do is make the payment through a cashier's check or money order for the HOLD to be removed IMMEDIATELY, especially with a November deadline approaching to register for the spring. If it is done through a personal check then there is a 45 to 50 day waiting period for everything to be cleared. What was funny was the fact that I seemed to be so mission oriented and eager to leave her office that she slowed me up a few times. I'm guessing just to catch a breather. She was really nice, and basically a stark contrast to what I had been use to from the folks in the administration building all those years. They were forceful voices that went along with folks who had no clue in what they were doing.

Considering the past when it came to school, my mother and money, I was very reluctant to go home and face the music. I basically felt I needed some sense talked into me in asking my parents for the money to pay off the balance and then I can move forward with enrollment and applying for another loan. Over and over, a voice in my head told me to just ask, and that it was ok.

Later in the evening when both of my parents were together I asked. Naturally, my father responded with

"Metro is hiring. You can drive a bus."

I half expected this answer from him, especially since weeks before an older brother called him to ask for assistance with his rent. My father showed tough love and basically told my brother that he is grown and needed to figure that out for himself. In so many words he used that same "love" on me.  

As for my mother, education is no joke with her, which is why I do feel blessed to have been raised in a house hold where education is on the top of the list of things to accomplish. I can't wait to REALLY enforce the same value to my daughter. My mother looked a woeful, but she heard me out. She asked why did I wait until now for this. My heart started to sink a bit, because in an instant I thought about all of the money that is going into the renovations and new furniture that we do need. Me asking for money for school, meant that she would have go back and recalculate the budget.

In the end, she told me she would revisit the option in September.

All I could do was say ok and move on to another topic.

I keep repeating to myself one of the key points from Sunday's sermon from the guest preacher at my aunt's church.

Every Blessing Has An Issue. Be Consistent In Your Prayer. 

I'm going back to school. I don't know how or when, but I'm going. I have a lot of people in my corner cheering me on to not go back.

MY ideal would be to scure a full time position that is decent in pay and pay off the balance myself. We shall see. I'm still checking freelance and full time opportunities. I'm visiting some options and hoping to discover new ones. I'm a fighter, I know this.  Sometimes I just have to cry, bitch, moan and wail a bit to get out my frustration before moving forward. It's healthy as long as I don't revisit the past and wallow in my pity.  

Today is not the day for that. Today is made for productivity and rejoicing.

I've been working on composing a poem/prose that has been stuck in my head for a week.  I've been paying attention CNN's week long special report on Black in America and feeling inspired especially on the segments on single mothers and sucssesful single black women - Kudos to Soledad O'Brien. I've been sleeping a little better as I've been turning in a bit earlier than usual.

I just feel great.

I feel happy. 

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Be it your favorite soccer match or a baseball game, you wouldn’t want to miss it right?

What if, that soccer match has cost you more than you have expected? Online Ticket Scams are targeting the sports and entertainment lovers; thus, making millions out of it.

As booking a ticket online for your favorite musical concert, theater show or a sports event is extremely easy, entertainment lovers are depending on internet solely for their booking needs. People who are eager to attend a show are in a hurry to book the tickets as they will be sold out fast. In such situations, they do not bother to find out the background of the website or other details.

Tips to protect yourself from the online ticket scams:

·    Check different websites that are offering tickets for the same event. In case, most of the websites are saying that the tickets have been sold out and one or two sites are claiming that plenty of tickets are available then, you know for sure that there is something fishy about those sites.

·    Before booking a ticket on a website try to find out more about their address, phone number etc.

·    Check the authenticity of the website by knowing more about their past record, complaints etc.

·    Often, though these websites display a false local address they are actually located in remote lands away from your own country. So, check for the authenticity of their address.

·    Use only encrypted websites for booking your tickets online. Encrypted websites will save you from identity theft.

·    Approach only trusted and reputed ticket booking agencies for booking your tickets.

·    Buy your tickets using a credit card so that, in case of a fraud you can use the statement for reference.

·    Never trust a booking agency who says that their agents will handover the tickets at your door or at the very venue itself. Who knows they might never arrive at all.

Posted by Movers.com Team

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You have to move out of the city but unable to leave your ancestral house behind? Move it. Moving a house lets you carry your dream house to all the desired locations. Moving your favorite house is simple and easy provided you have the right kind of resources. Every year thousands of houses are moved from one place to the other. Watch some Moving Houses Video Clips here.

Houses that have unique architecture, that are legendary in nature, historical homes, ancestral mansions embellished with artistic things are usually moved from place to place. If your house is in a flood-prone area or near a volcano, you can move it to a safer place when there is an emergency.

All that you need to do is choose a house; then, hire an engineer to inspect the condition of the house. Finally, when you are sure that the house is ready to move, hire a mover to finish the job. Find out the local laws and building codes of the place you are planning to move your house to.

Not all houses can withstand the pressure of moving. A house that is well-built, well-maintained can only be moved safely. Moving your favorite house comes at a price. Depending on the size of the house, place it needs to be moved and various other factors like carrying the cables of power etc your house moving expenses will be determined.

In special circumstances where the house size is too large or doesn’t fit into the available place you might have to fragment the whole thing and reorganize it again. So, desire to move your house is not just enough; you need to have a fat wallet for moving and owning your dream home.

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We're still at Nana and Poppy's enjoying ourselves.

Gavin had so much fun yesterday, Nana and Poppy fed him dinner when he came in and started pointing at all the food and then heading straight for his high chair. He continues to be a "fruit bat" as Uncle Matt calls him.

He LOVES fruit of all kinds. (Uncle Matt- he really hopes you bring him more figs this Sunday!)

He enjoyed peaches and blueberries last night, pasta salad, cheese toast, lots of milk and even a bit of Poppy's ice cream bar.

After dinner he went outside to tell all the flowers good night (code for rip their petals off). Then he got a bath courtesy Nana (a very thorough bath..Mommy may have been missing a few spots!)  He loved it, and tried to drink out of the big rinsing cup. Gromit came to check on him periodically and try and drink some bath water himself.

Next it was time for bedtime stories courtesy Poppy. He sat still (mostly) for all five! books but then (as usual) made Poppy read Farm Animals Peek a Boo five more times. That's his favorite book, and he'll make you read it till the cows come home if you don't eventually say, "time to tell the farm animals bye bye!"

Gav went to sleep pretty easily and slept till 6:30, I got up to walk the dogs, Poppy and Nana rescued him from the pack n play. I came back in to discover that he'd eaten a whole banana and drank quite a bit of milk. Then he sat down to share Poppy's cheerios and tasted bacon with Nana.

So far this morning he's helped water flowers, kissed a cat (and pulled her tail), played ball with Mommy and slid up and down on his castle.

It's almost nap time and then we're going to visit my grandparents so they can get in some Gavin time before we move.
It's a busy day!!

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I'm gonna try to go back to bed...
Because there's nothing good to do at 6 am.

Random revelation:
Sometimes my heart feels torn and confused when it probably shouldn't even bother getting involved.
It's not the smartest muscle in my body sometimes.

My friend's spanking-new husband was deployed to Iraq... yesterday, I believe.
This means that I really should try to plan a road trip to Tennessee, where she is located.
I'd get to see Nashville.

Random revelation:
I like to run on a dark track with no one around because I talk to myself.
It's the only encouragement that works. Encouragement from my own mouth.
Because if I don't want to do something, it is impossible to talk me into it.

I'm probably going to go do a tiny bit of shopping today.
Get me some Moe's burritos. I haven't had one in forever.

Random revelation:
I am getting good at turning people into non-sexual entities.
I realized that yesterday when I thought about my ex-BFF.
As you recall, I saw him at the bar not too long ago.
I had been in love with him and thought I still had a crush on him...
but I couldn't even imagine having sex with him now.
Same thing goes for his brother.
(Which is why I didn't get involved with either one during HS. I mean, I had a crush on both?)

I think I'm going to check on a class now.
And then fall back asleep.

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And so to another Friday night, with Chopin doing his level best to soothe my soul, accompanied by a glass of my vintage $1.99/bottle red. And, as usual, they've been successful. For I am sitting here savouring this moment. What's so special about it? Well, I'm alive. That's special, don't you think? And worth taking a few moments out of a busy life to give thanks. But who to thank? Well first, my parents. They did, after all, give birth to me, nurtured me, and did their level best to give me a better life than they had. So thanks, Mum and Dad. I hope I made you proud, and showed my gratitude for the many sacrifices I know you made. I know I could have done better, but you always understood. And I have to learn by your example, and understand when my kids behave exactly as I did.

But who else to thank? I suppose all the selfless teachers, ministers of religion, and others who cared enough about me to try to teach me what they thought was of use to me in this great adventure we call "Life". You tried to instil in me the lessons you had learnt in life; about how to survive in it, and beyond. So, thank you too. I'll be forever grateful. As I venture further in this life I may have come to a different understanding of it than you had, but I know you did your level best. You tried to pass on the knowledge you had accumulated in your lifetime to me. Because that's what we do in this life. We try to make sense of it, and pass that knowledge on to those who follow us.

So now it has come to my turn; time to pass the baton on. I turned 69 recently. The next one is 70. And I do wonder what I have to pass on. Have I anything of worth to pass on to those who follow? I don't know. I guess that is for others to judge. I've tried to understand it all, but it is no easy task. There's just so much knowledge out there, isn't there. It's like a great, ever increasing  orchard of knowledge. We sample a fruit here, another there, and at times wander aimlessly in that orchard, wondering what fruit to sample next.

I've looked to other humans whom I think may have sampled better fruits than I, and wonder if I have chosen the right fruits. I now know the answer to that question. There isn't any right combination of fruits. We each have to choose those fruits for ourselves. For there is no perfect life. Just the one we cobble together for ourselves according to the dictates of where fortune may take us. And if we are to have peace of mind, we must gracefully acknowledge the truth of this.

So, for a while, Friday night philosophy will track my search for a consistent philosophy of life. I think I finally got something workable for me. All I can hope is that it is of some help to you, for it is no easy task this journey we travel together. Till next Friday night..

.

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Cat in a box

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Let's see...

I'm moving, getting ready to get this MASTERS degree, growing up. It's definitely about to be my season!

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