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Results tagged “humor”

Brian Kelley

Train

I had to catch a train, so I got a really big mitt

Brian Kelley

Postcard

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, wish you were here

Brian Kelley

Frontiers

If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date - Olin Miller

Brian Kelley

Words

The trouble with words is that you never know whose mouths they've been in - Potter Original Photo - http://www.flickr.com/photos/alltheaces/2271696939/sizes/m/

Brian Kelley

Hindsight

Questionable Definitions - Hindsight n., What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

Brian Kelley

Carpe

Carpe Diem = Seize the day Carp In Denim = Fish in pants...

Brian Kelley

Denial

Believe nothing until it has been officially denied

jacolily

Things on Thursday

Thumbs Down: Our house still hasn't sold yet. There's a lady who loves it and wants it but her husband doesn't think they need a new house. Feel free to pray that she changes his mind! I helped Ray grout the main bathroom yesterday. All I did was wipe off the excess and 3 of my fingers are split. I...

Brian Kelley

Forever

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Rojak and Cocktail

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill, MA 34109 Dear Professor Millington, Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant...

Brian Kelley

Learners

Those who want to learn listen; those who know everything interrupt

Brian Kelley

Ferret

A ferret is God's way of telling you nothing is childproof

Brian Kelley

Pharmacist

Questionable Definitions - Pharmacist n., A farm helper

Brian Kelley

Foot

Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark

Grouchy Old Man

Dinnertime Conversation ...

As my wife was eating this god-awful looking soup at the Chinese restaurant, she was using a ceramic type spoon they provided. I was eating my egg-drop soup with a regular teaspoon (I’m a Neanderthal). “I can’t use that type of spoon.” I commented. “Why not?” “My mouths not big enough...

Brian Kelley

Winners

A winner listens, a loser just waits until it is their turn to speak

Red Pen

Meet me at camera three

So funny. "Are you kidding me? Stick got in before ball? No."

Brian Kelley

Change

The more things change, the more they stay insane

Brian Kelley

Smoking

If you smoke after sex...You are going too fast

Brian Kelley

Rubberneck

Questionable Definitions - Rubberneck n., What you do to relax your wife.