Vox’s posts tagged honesty

QotD: Crazy Sexy Cool

nobody@vox.com(VaShopaholic) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:45:47 +0000

What three qualities do you look for in a partner?
Submitted by Tenor Bob

Understanding....to listen to me and realize that although I may not make any sense at all, that he would try to listen and comprehend at least what I am trying to say.

Understanding

Honesty.....I want a partner that will be truthful with me and does not tell me any lies, no matter how much it may hurt me or him. I want my partner, my companion to be up front with me, even if it is something I may not approve of.

Honesty

Humor....I want my partner to laugh at the smallest things; to not take life so seriously. I want him to laugh with me, not just at me. I want someone to share those stupid/humiliating/embarrassing moments with. I do not want a partner to be high-strung. I want him relaxed, not too relaxed; but, I do want him to enjoy life, every moment of it.

Humor

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Affirmacast 43: Things

nobody@vox.com(Radio Free Hollywood) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:54:34 +0000

RFH 43_ Things

Affirmatron

First off, the title of the post…Apparently there’s this site all about making goals and making friends with friends who love making goals. We here at Affirmatron are all about accomplishing goals (and "43" is a rather obscure number...apparently).

This week we explore the cruel world of internet message boards and then we take you out on the town with a sampling of the ins and outs of Los Angeles nightlife. Up next, how to give criticism of your comedic friends’ performances (the first part of this conversation was cut off in a snafu, but you’ll quickly catch on), how important is it to be a team player and what’s the difference between stealing jokes and homages?

Have you seen the Affirmatron pilot, "The Affirmatron Ultimatum," yet? Check it out here!

Got a question or topic you want us to discuss? Email us here!

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To you

nobody@vox.com(ashleydaile) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 07:08:37 +0000

Back and forth through my head

you make an impression on me

when i listen to you

i believe all the things you tell me

because they are great thing, honest things

things a girl would want to hear, love to hear

it's hard to find fault in you

should I trust my heart and believe the things you tell me?

you make it so easy

this great thing in front of me

you make me feel worthy and needed

not everyone makes me feel this way

when I need someone to talk to i have you to call

i can talk to you about anything

i believe in you ____, and I have faith that you will one day accomplish the goals you set for yourself

your life may not get easier, but it will get better

not all people will trust you

not all people will give you the benefit of the doubt

i did

i am here for you, no matter what anyone might say

i want you to be the guy i can come to for anything

and i want to be that girl

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Unscientific Science-y Tuesday, episode 11

nobody@vox.com(mad-tante) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 14:02:05 +0000

Pants on fire! or Neuro-linguistic Programming

An acquaintance brought up how she learned how to tell liars from truth-tellers. There are several body cues but the most fun of our discussion concerned eye-directions.

We wasted a quarter-hour trying to lie or tell the truth whilst closely watching each others eye movements. Everyone deduced from the technique below that I was telling a lie and I most certainly was not! Luckily, I figured out why it appeared that way. That's at the bottom of the page.

Know thyself to better Deceive Others

There's an idea that brain division, "left-brained" or "right-brained," affects a lot more than we think. Several years ago, I heard some experts speaking on a local morning drive FM station. They were testing the hypothesis that one can tell a liar from an honest person by simply watching how the person's eye rolled around while their brain accessed certain areas when they answered questions.

The thing is, most people aren't aware of these slight changes in their appearance (or others). People can study themselves and practice how to be a better liar but most people can't fight the impulse to rotate their eyes around whilst different areas of their brains are firing off.

Frogs into Princes by Richard Bandler et al is a book written way back in 1979 -- this isn't exactly a new idea. I like the cover...It purports to help you understand yourself better and also to express yourself with more clarity in addition to help in your communication with others. I think it's to help you lie better but who am I to judge? Bandler and his cohort Grinder get together again in Trance-Formations... which goes into hypnosis and NLP. There seems to be something to all of that (hypnosis and NLP) but I don't suggest you bet the farm on NLP for lie-detecting or transforming your life. Useful it is, perhaps but the "best way," perhaps not. Consider it a tool or as I do, a toy.

David Lieberman purports to give you the advantage over criminals and at card games in You Can Read Anyone. Dig the G. Gordon Liddy clip. Mr. Lieberman says the Federal Bureau of Investigation as well as the U.S. military services use the techniques he'll teach you, including eye movements, in determining honesty or lack thereof from others.

You can use my darling flash card or watch this youtubevideo from somebody I don't know that illustrates NLP in action. My drawring is better; it's more concise and hell, it's cuter.

Liar

Notes: Directions are how eye movements appear to the interrogator (house right, house left). They are not how the respondent "sees" (stage right, stage left).

Descriptions are for a right-handed respondent who behaves in the "normally organized" way. Lefties, do the inverse but retain up, down, middle. Not everyone perfectly follows the patterns, you should read more about this and then establish a base-level of "truth" with a respondant before contacting a divorce attorney.

The idea is the person accesses remembered things. If they look up to the right, it's an image they're remembering (Grandma's tea-cosy). If it's straight to the right, it's a sound they remember (Grandma's voice). If it's downward to the right, they're mulling over something to themselves.

If they look up to the left, it's an image they're conjuring -- not remembered (Grandma cross-dressing to look like Charlie Chaplin -- unless the respondant's granny really did this, which is highly doubtful). If they look straight to the left, they're imagining how something would sound (Grandma singing Carmen -- unless the respondant's granny really did this, which is possible but my granny was more likely to sing "There's a Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road"). If they look down to the left, they're remembering a sensation (Grandma's pillow smelled of AquaNet and Youth Dew).

Have fun with it! Experiment on your friends and family. Just think of the feuding and grudges you can dredge up!

Which brings us back to all my coworkers calling me a big liar. Their query to me was, "Have you smoked a cigarette in the past ten years?"

Apparently, my eyes roved up to the left, which meant (to them) that I was making something up ("visually constructed image"). I'm a visual person, to the extreme, so it's really normal for my eyes to rove through visual and kinesthetic realms. What I remember thinking was, "Picture yourself smoking." In fact, I was conjuring a visual image but not in order to tell a lie. Being super-right-brained, my brain did its normal organization pattern: it formed a visual and then tried to find a match. It couldn't find one because I simply can't remember the last time I smoked. That's why I had no "truthful" memory to access. I wasn't lying; I was simply trying to picture myself smoking. Kinda neat, eh?

Tool or toy?

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The Awakening

nobody@vox.com(Inspirational Place) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 23:23:31 +0000

I found this inspirational passage 2 years ago, and I was immediately effected by the honesty of this message. I think one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to clear away life's "baggage" and make an assessment of ourselves. With clarity & with tenderness...I hope this passage brings you inspiration ;o)

The Awakening

Become Awake

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

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Preparing for Mayo

nobody@vox.com(Shannon) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 21:22:34 +0000

The closer my trip to the Mayo Clinic gets, the more afraid I become. I have been on the waiting list for the last year and a half, and although my condition has improved, I feel that I am nowhere near "my old self". I am better, and for that I am thankful, but I just want things to return to normal. I try to stay positive about it all and assure those around me that I'm doing much better, but there are still days that I can't get out of bed because my body aches so bad, moments that my hands shake so hard that I can't hold a fork, and times that I completely lose my sense of balance and run into a wall. These are more difficult things to explain because I don't even know why they happen. My doctors get upset at me because I tell them I'm fine and only give them specific symptoms when asked specific questions, but I can't help but fear that all of this is in my head. I don't want to sound stupid when I explain to them how much pain I'm actually in. I think my greatest fear in this all is that someone will think I'm making it all up, so I shy away from specific details because they don't make sense to me.

This will all have to change when I get to Rochester; I am going to try to be brave and assertive when I am at the Mayo Clinic. I have decided that I am going to spend the next week taking notes on my symptoms and writing down questions. In addition to that I am going to look into purchasing a tape recorder so I can record what the doctor says and give specific details to my family, friends and doctors, I am going to write out a time line of my symptoms, hospital visits, surgeries, etc, and I am going to practice what I am going to say at my first appointment. I am a very shy and timid person when it comes to authority figures, but I am going to go into this situation with my head high and the understanding that this is my one shot at a solution. Even if I sound like a complete nut case I need to be honest with the doctors to get to the bottom of this all.

I will be leaving to the Mayo Clinic August 6th and I fully intend to update with pictures, notes, and reflections. If anyone is reading this, keep your fingers crossed for me!

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My Story - Part 2

nobody@vox.com(sharetheword) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 19:05:10 +0000

Consistent Christian life

In my last post I discussed the impact of my parent's decision to be faithful church attenders. I want to build on that in saying that they not only attended church, but they loved the fellowship with other believers. They were not legalistic in their attitude, but they lived consistent Christian lives - driving the speed limit, telling the truth, giving regularly - all practical evidences of their faith. They were the same at home as they were at church - there was no hypocrisy. What other people saw was the real thing.

My father was a quiet person who did not talk about his Christianity very much, but he lived it. My mother was talkative, had a beauty shop in our home, and influenced her customers - who were also her friends - for the Lord. At their 50th wedding anniversary celebration there were many younger people who gave testimony of the influence my parent's life had on them. One woman, a friend of my sister, said that my mother gave her the first birthday party of her life.

***

In what way has the consistency of another believer influenced you?

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Pussy don't lie!

nobody@vox.com(High Heels and Ice Cream®) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 21:40:50 +0000

Intellectually, some of you may argue that, threesomes are the non-declaration aspect of a date. Two is acceptable and three is down right gluttonous, reeking of debauchery.

So amnesia prevails in your office the very next day: my date,oh, he, as in singular,he, was great and the sex was awesome/not so great/ had better/seeing him again/not sure/do I really look 3-in-the-bed kinda tired?

Could this be the real reason that rhinoplasty is on the rise? In fact, some of us spend so much money on erasing the truth, we forget that pussy don't lie.

Title: High Heels and Ice Cream

Author: Lolita Flowers

ISBN: 978-0-9555212-0-1

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QotD: Liar Liar

nobody@vox.com(Elentari) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:02:48 +0000

What is the biggest lie you've told?
Submitted by lazywong.
I'd say it's when I've said I prayed or attended church when I didn't. I know that seems like a simple, harmless thing...but really, it's the absolute worst thing I could do. I'm playing with my eternal life here, it's like Russian Roulette. I am very conscious of it and it really makes me feel bad. I know that we are not perfect creatures and that we will not always do what is right, but it's better to be honest about what we have done and try to do better.

Prayer

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Pull me apart, put me together

nobody@vox.com(Charmagne Coe) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 04:52:11 +0000

A sketch I did a while back has been tickling my dreams, floating in and out of my mind at the oddest times... I finally up and painted it this weekend while the little ones napped and hubby worked on college courses. This is yet another one that was kind of born from thinking about this existential life, how things can trap us, hurt us, shock us. How those very difficult turns in life can actually be the beginning of another more beautiful path if we just continue to be honest and see things for what they are. Like the layers of an onion, I think honesty and transparency of character can evolve day to day with each new bit of understanding we have about humanity. I know this is a very meandering post, but that is kind of how I am the last few days. These thoughts just flow in and out in a rather stream of consciousness sort of way. I know we are the same on many levels, you and I, though we may have different paths, interests, life stories - I think we all get broken and put back together in some way or another in the course of living. I think of these breaking down/rebuilding times as "interruptions" in life and how they are critical times of learning and loving, maybe being (brutally) honest. I can think of events that have left me nothing to learn or feel in the moment of happening, and so I buried my head, wrung my hands. But each new day has a way of bringing more illumination. The idea that life is actually working on me with its own life force is interesting and something I want to think upon for while. It's there that I feel a sense of the divine.

"Reconstruct", 12 3/4" x 10", watercolor combined with ink and pastel.

"Reconstruct"

I have also begun reading The Artist's Way. I'll have to post more on this later.

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QotD: Procrastinating...

nobody@vox.com(Derick Lushine) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 02:14:17 +0000

What have you been putting off all weekend?
I have put off going to church. I have put off washing my clothes. I have put off telling the truth. I have put off being honest with myself and others, opening up to people, freeing my mind from such insane issues to just sit back and enjoy life, and most of all I have put off living all weekend. However, I have become a vegetable in front of a television. It's somewhat satisfying.

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hunting hunter hugs

nobody@vox.com(NONtRENDY) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:29:06 +0000

I'm in awe of Hunter S. Thompson.

he was not only a great writer, but he pretty much did and said what he wanted. I enjoy and admire that kind of honesty.

I try to be honest, but I end up sounding like a bitch.

Or I'm pretty much nagging or yelling.

I can be a nasty person to be around. I'm not sure how I have friends or that they don't spit in my general direction.

hunting hunter hugs

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SAMUEL AND SONS

nobody@vox.com(sharetheword) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:18:31 +0000

[35]

Read 1 Samuel 8:1–5; 12:1–25

"You are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have." 1 Samuel 8:5 NIV

* * *

Samuel was an honest, godly man who led Israel faithfully, but his sons did not follow in his ways. We are not told the reasons for this, but we are told that they turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice. (8:3b) Because of this corrupt and ungodly behavior by Samuel’s sons, the people began to demand that Samuel appoint them a king.

* * *

God gave them what they asked for–a tall handsome young man named Saul. But he came with a warning: This king and many of the kings after him would bring far more grief to the people than they had yet known, taxing them and drafting their sons into forced labor. Samuel said, “When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day." (8:18)

* * *

Lord, may we never forget to pray for our sons and daughters, raising them to be honest and trustworthy. Help me to be consistent in my own spiritual walk and in the discipline of our children. God bless our home that it will be a light in a dark world, reflecting your love and faithfulness.

* * *

“As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right." 1 Samuel 12:23 NIV

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14 steps to a better you: promiss less, do more

nobody@vox.com(Irma) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 10:27:30 +0000

Mirror

A successful live means you've got realistic expectations of yourself. You don't have to be the perfect partner / friend / colleague / parent. People that are unreasonably demanding, put themselves under pressure and might become stressed or burned out. It can also influence others. If for example your boss asks you to write a report by tomorrow and you say yes, it's possible you can't honour your promise, and others might be disappointed or get the feeling they can't count on you. It is important you put realistic demands upon yourself.

Being too demanding might stem from a negative sense of self-worth. You don't think you're good enough, and think you'll only be loved if you excel. It's also possible you don't know your limits, or you overestimate yourself. This can also happen if you've got a healthy sense of self-worth. If you've got a positive image of yourself, it's possible you always tend to think it's no problem writing that report by tomorrow (to stick with the example above). People too demanding of themselves, want too much.

Perfect!

Being demanding is related to being perfectionist: you want to do things as good as possible. Being perfectionist isn't wrong in itself. On the contrary, there are advantages. It helps to bring out the best of you. Perfectionism is quite alright, as long as it stays healthy.

This means you like to excel and it's a challenge to do something without mistakes. It becomes unhealthy once you demand you do everything in a perfect way. By putting that much pressure on yourself, you become stressed and afraid of failure. Because nobody's perfect, you'll always be disappointed too. You'll always fall short and can never feel proud about yourself.

Be realistic

If you don't want to become overwrought or disappoint others, be realistic. Following tips can be helpful.

Work on your sense of self-worth

The best way to steer away from unhealthy perfectionism, is to work on your self esteem. When you think positively about yourself, and accept yourself, you won't feel the urge to be perfect and promise heaven on earth.

Want versus have to

Perfectionism becomes unhealthy if you have to be perfect. Notice there are so many things you have to, deliberately replace the words have to by want to or can. "I want to get an A on this exam", feels more relaxed than "I have to get an A on this exam" or "I can' make mistakes". That way it's also possible to discover what you want and don't want. Perhaps you'll notice there aren't so many things you have to do. Perhaps you'll find out someone else should do some of the things you saddle yourself with.

Be honest

In order to become realistic, you'll have to be honest, first and foremost with yourself. When someone asks you something, don't answer automatically in an affirmative way, but ask respite. Say for example: "I'm not sure if that's possible, I'll let you know as soon as possible" or "I have so see whether this fits my schedule". Verify how much time and energy it will consume. Is it realistic? Do you want to answer the request? Can you? When you've made up the balance, it's time to be honest with the other person. If in doubt, hold back a little. Say for example: "I will do my best, but I'm not sure it will work". Also ask for what you need. Think time, money, materials or help.

If you're honest with yourself and others, you take away the pressure. It also prevents you from disappointing others. If, perhaps against all odds, you manage to succeed anyway, you and others will be pleasantly surprised.

Exercises

The following exercises can help you to be more realistic and honest.

Realistic promises

Think about a recent situation in which you made a promise or commitment that wasn't entirely realistic. Answer following questions: whom did you make this promise to, and about what? To what extent were you fooling yourself? To what degree did you have to convince yourself to keep this promise? If you knew the promise wasn't realistic, why did you make it anyway? Was there something you were afraid of? Did you want to avoid something, like a fight? In retrospect, what would you have done or said instead?

Future requests

Imagine a request you can expect to be made in the upcoming month by your boss, colleague, partner or family. Imagine how much time and energy it's going to ask from you. What's the situation? To what extent to you have the time or energy to answer this request? What can you say in order to make a realistic promise or commitment?

Test: how much of a perfectionist are you?

Answer the following questions with yes, sometimes or no.

   1. I feel guilty if I don't get it 100% right
   2. I'm afraid others might not like me as much if I fail
   3. When I start something, I'm afraid of failing
   4. No matter how well I do, I'm never satisfied with my achievements
   5. I worry about mistakes
   6. I am proud if I get it 100% right
   7. I like to give the best of me
   8. My successes stimulate me
   9. It's a challenge to be the best I can
10. I like to be better than others

For each time you've answered yes, you get 2 points. For each time you've answered sometimes you get 1 point. Add up the points for questions 1 to 5. This is your score for unhealthy perfectionism. Add up the points for questions 6 to 10. This is your score for healthy perfectionism.

Unhealthy perfectionism

8 points or more: you suffer from unhealthy perfectionism and put too much stress on yourself. It's important to work on your self esteem.
4 - 7 points: to an extent you suffer from unhealthy perfectionism. You'll feel much better if you are realistic, and throw guilt overboard.
0 - 3 points: you don't suffer much from unhealthy perfectionism. Mistakes and shortcomings don't get under your skin. You know you're only human.

Healthy perfectionism

8 points or more: you're a perfectionist in a good way. You like to excel because it makes you feel good. Beware though. Don't mix up the things you want and the things you have to.
4 - 7 points: you're a perfectionist to a certain extent. You like to do things as good a possible, but you don't strive for perfection all the time.
0 - 3 points: you're not at all a perfectionist. That's fine, but if you want to improve your achievements, a healthy dose of perfectionism might help you.

Healthy and unhealthy perfectionism can coexist. It's possible you like to achieve but at the same time you think you have to.

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laughter, intentional, prepared, original, surf

nobody@vox.com(Deborah) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 23:55:34 +0000

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
To help others at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight.

At 12, Aaron wore the uniform and said the pledge, but he could never get past "morally straight" without a bit of laughter. It was intentional. He was fully prepared to argue his point that the boy scouts discriminated against gays.

A Scout tells the truth.

Joining the Scouts was his father's attempt to find something they could do together. Not the most original idea, it was the best he could come up with. They were so different. His father wanted him to do sports, but Aaron just wanted to stay home and surf the web. He'd found an accepting world of online friends.

A Scout has the courage to stand for what he thinks is right even if other's laugh at or threaten him.

At 13, Aaron came out to his junior high. His did so with his mother in the classroom - the only mother in the classroom. Every child in the class was to talk about something that changed their life. Aaron talked about meeting people online who were gay and realizing he was more like them than anyone he knew. He talked about being laughed at by kids at school and threatened for being different. He said "I am gay, and if you know me, you'll see it makes sense that I am like I am." Some of the girls in his class cried when his mother hugged him. His speech was chosen to represent their class.

A Scout treats others as he wants to be treated

Aaron gave the speech again to the entire school and went from being an outcast to a celebrity. He talked of thinking before calling something "gay" or "queer." He explained the meaning behind the words. He talked of respect and even the worst of the worst kids took it to heart.

It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

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holy smokes! that was NOT easy...

nobody@vox.com(Down & Dirty) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:29:06 +0000

My greatest weakness is my inability to express my feelings.
But I did it...

and it was hard as hell.

At least I can breath now and the butterflies that had taken up residence in my stomach have migrated to someone else's belly...

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Seat Belt Laws... Constitutional?

nobody@vox.com(The Real Inconvenient Truth) — Sun, 25 May 2008 22:10:10 +0000

It seems as though every state is making it mandatory for you to wear your seatbelt while in the car. Kentucky likes to use the catch phrase "click it, or ticket" as well as many others. They don't say "wear your seat belt because it is safe", but rather, "wear it or you'll get a ticket." A simple look into the automotive world will reveal one enormous flaw with telling people they need to wear a seatbelt for safety... Motorcycles! How ridiculous is it to accept someone riding a motorcycle (a.k.a. crotch rocket) but not someone on four wheels surrounded in a cage? While I acknowledge that some states have helmet laws, I would like to announce that some do not while yet having mandatory seat belt laws. Now up to this point I have merely shown where there is a leaning bias, and I would like to show a few "issues" that deal with seatbelt laws.
#1. I am not going to list statistics, but feel free to look them up yourself, but most people who die or are seriously injured in car crashes are teenagers / young adults who are not wearing their seatbelt. I by no means am saying you shouldn't wear your seatbelt. I buckle mine before I put the car in gear, but that is beside the point. [for those of you who do not like to hear the absolute undiluted truth, stop reading...} Parents of these "children" are mad because the seatbelt could have saved their life. Well that is poor parenting and they have no one but themselves to blame for not teaching their child safety. It is not the government's job to make sure your child is wearing their seat belt! So quit complaining and trying to place blame on someone else. Just because you die, it does not make you immune to criticism. You don't become a saint...
#2. While a rarity, seat belts have been proven to be hazardous in some very specific cases where they restrained too well and someone burned to death or drowned. This point is merely to show that you should be able to choose whether you want 100% certainty on being able to free your seatbelt (by not wearing it at all) or having that little thought in the back of your mind that it might drag you to your death.
#3. Laws were meant and designed to protect people from other people. It has been my experience in law enforcement that no one cares whether you punch yourself in the face, but rather they care a lot when you punch someone else in the face. We can all agree that laws are meant to protect people from people, and NOT themselves. The only way I can see that I am "harming" someone else by not wearing a seat belt would be if I was to become a projectile out of my windshield, or some kind of human missile. Now I have come down to the same level as a motorcycle which we have already seen is quit legal. Honestly, if I am driving that fast I deserve to die anyway. (You may be surprised to know that helmet laws are quite un-constitutional as well.)

There is no law against suicide. People who commit suicide are not charged with a crime or given a ticket. There are those who say that it's "suicide" not to wear your seat belt, and maybe it is. But who are you to stop them. They aren't hurting you. This isn't someone who is affecting you, such as a smoker (an issue I will address later) and causing "harm" to you. They are merely exercising freedom, which was given to them by the American Constitution. Justice Louis Brandeis of the Supreme Court under Woodrow Wilson's time as president determined that the 4th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution implied a certain "right to be left alone". Now, since we know what laws were meant for (refer to #3) you logically must agree that it is un-constitutional to make a law requiring Americans to wear seat belts. Unfortunately, states have a great deal of power and due to incorporation of the bill of rights (i.e. 4th Amend.) you really don't have as much freedom as you thought you might have.

I hope you have found this eye-opening. After reading this you can no longer say that you agree with seatbelt laws or their validity. To do so would be illogical and thus make anything you have to say completely and utterly a waste of time. I could go on and on forever, because this topic drives an anger deep inside of me. Even though I am not affected by this law, I will fight as best I can for the people who are.

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Neighbors

nobody@vox.com(sollee) — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:32:54 +0000

There was this simple story about neighbors.

The poor man had a rich neighbor and since both have completely different lifestyles, they're not that too close with each other.

But one day, the rich man got envious of the poor man because he noticed that his children are not as healthy as that of the poor man's.

He was upset since for him he had given the best for his children so they deserved the best too.

So for the first time he went to his neighbor's house and asked his secret for keeping his family healthy.

The poor man politely said " Sir, since we are neighbors, everytime you cook for your family, my children and I could smell the food coming from your kitchen into ours. Because of that, it has increased my family's appetite for eating. and we thank you Sir for that."

The rich man said " Oh, so it means you owe me for I made your family healthy. You have to pay me for that."

For a while the poor man became silent but managed to say.."Okay Sir, I will tomorrow."

The next day, the poor man with a small bag of coins that he had saved for his family happily met the grinning rich man.

"Here is my payment, take them Sir"....While the rich man eagerly grabs the small bag with coins, the poor man suddenly held back what he was holding and instead shook the bag noisily enough for the rich man to hear........" Sir, since I only owe you the SMELL...so I'll pay you with a SOUND....

My friends isn't it that we have abused our neighbors because of their ignorance and lack of understanding of their rights...

Many of us are guilty of manipulation, of abuse, we even choose the ones we abuse...

Some of our Kababayans are experiencing poverty because they don't know their rights. We have killed their future...

What do we do when we helped them. We say, they must thanked us for giving them education, food, shelter, medicine...

We make our poor Kababayans look like dogs...cheering you...praising you...voting for you ...because they don't know their rights, the rules, the laws, the ordinances, etc....You make them pay for the things they own...When are we going to love and honestly serve our people?....When are we going to become good neighbors?...

love your neighbor

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Honest, Iago, Honest

nobody@vox.com(vtpanther) — Thu, 01 May 2008 01:22:49 +0000

Othello (Folger Shakespeare Library)

William Shakespeare

The boys and I were studying Othello today (Act I) and noting that everyone in the story trusts Iago who is the least trustworthy character in the play ... and how everyone at the beginning suspects Othello of being a savage barbarian warlock when in fact he is about the only character in the play with integrity and moral gravitas. "Why does everyone trust Iago?" was the question of the day. The most interesting case is that of Rodrigo. Iago TELLS hims straight out that he [Iago} is capable of being a consummate two faced liar and yet Rodrigo never suspects that Iago might be the same two faced liar with HIM. What is interesting is that periodically Iago will turn to the crowd and address THEM and for whatever reason, one suspects that, like Iago, the audience simply believes Iago even though they are watching Iago lie to everyone else.

Iago says of Othello:

"The Moor is of a free and open nature,
That thinks men honest that but seem to be so,
And will as tenderly be led by the nose
As asses are."

And he says of Rodrigo:

"Thus do I ever make my fool my purse"

But nevertheless, the audience believes that Iago is telling THEM the truth when he explains himself to THEM. I personally have a theory about why Iago is out to get Othello and I don't think that it is for the reasons that he tells Rodrigo OR the audience. The truth has to be sleuthed out of the dialog. I tend to think that Iago thinks the audience is made of of naive fools too. I am not sure that he Ever tells ANYONE the truth. I tend to think that the secret may lie in Act IV, Scene III where Iago's wife says:

"And have not we affections,
Desires for sport, and frailty, as men have?
Then let them use us well: else let them know,
The ills we do, their ills instruct us so."

Iago tells us that he heard that his wife and Othello had an affair. I think he knows the rumor is not true and he essentially says so. but Emilia's words get me to wondering: did she insinuate to him an affair or a potential affair with Othello just to pay him back for some unfaithfulness and deceit on his part? Might she have used Othello as a pro p in an attempt to lash out at Iago's abuses? Is that why Iago has really decided to "take him down"?

Question for Comment: How do you, or have you figured out how much and when to trust people? have you ever been wrong? Deeply wrong?

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Consistent Christian life

nobody@vox.com(sharetheword) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 07:41:00 +0000

In my last post I discussed the impact of my parent's decision to be faithful church attenders. I want to build on that in saying that they not only attended church, but they loved going to church to fellowship with other believers. They were not legalistic in their attitude, but they lived consistent Christian lives-Driving the speed limit, telling the truth, giving regularly - all practical evidences of their faith. They were the same at home as they were at church - there was no hypocrisy. What other people saw was the real thing. My father was a quiet person who did not talk about his Christianity very much, but he lived it. My mother was talkative, had a beauty shop in our home, and influenced her customers - who were also her friends- for the Lord. At their 50th wedding anniversary celebration there were many younger people who gave testimony of the influence my parent's life had on them. One woman, a friend of my sister, said that my mother gave her the first birthday party of her life.

***

In what way has the consistency of another believer influenced you?

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