Vox’s posts tagged adult

Top 10 Things People Do After Sex

nobody@vox.com(paranoid) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 08:13:15 +0000

So what do people do after having sex? It seems we only end up with a handful of things to do but some of them are quite surprising. What do the people of the online dating world do? Add a comment below!

#10 - Coo at Each Other

Look into each others eyes and coo at each other. This is a time to relax in each others arms, tell your secrets, hopes and dreams and snuggle a little. It’s time for some deep and serious intimate conversation. Sexual intimacy already creates a bond between two people, but quiet time together and talking after sex creates an even stronger connection. Women seem to enjoy this more than men, however, the trend is fast becoming an important role for men as well.

# 9 - Roll Over

Yes, we all could use a little sleep after a good shag. Surprisingly, women tend to do this more than men! I guess it all depends as to who did all the work. Statistics show that with the never ending list of things to get done in a day, if a couple can manage to squeeze in some lovin’ then it’s a bonus but once done, it’s time to get some well needed sleep because tomorrow is another busy day.

# 8 - Turn it Off

Turn off the video camera that is. Not many couples do this, however, for couples who are a little more adventurous and like to watch themselves after their love fest; they will turn off their video camera and press ‘play’ to enjoy hours of fun spectating their sport.

# 7 - Have a Smoke

They come out of the closet now! If someone was trying to keep it from you that they smoke, chances are they are most apt to have a cigarette after sex. If they know you have a problem with their smoking, then they might leave the bed quickly after sex so they can have their smoke. However, they do prefer to smoke in bed if they can.

#6 - Check your phone

Perhaps you've switched off your blackberry or iphone to quiet, do not disturb or off, but once sex is over, their heads are swimming again thinking about work and checking messages to see if they have ‘missed’ anything while they were in the throes of ecstasy. It’s back to work and business as usual for these folks.

# 5 - Watch T.V.

For the couch potato who defines life with the obligatory boob tube. They are relaxed after sex and what can be better than continuing their deep state of relaxation with some down time in front of the T.V.?

# 4 - Go to the Bathroom

Almost every one does, especially women. All that friction causes our bodies to heed nature’s call. Some go to the bathroom to check on their appearance and make sure hair and/or make up is not out of place. It all depends on what stage the relationship is at. A couple that has been together for a long time are not too worried about their appearance, however, a ‘new’ couple will be concerned with how they look with their bed disheveled hair.

# 3 - Get Up and Go To Work

Reality bites and although we would all love to have rainy days in bed with our loved one, chances are, it doesn’t happen too often and your boss is still expecting you to get to work on time like any other day. If anything, it should keep you in good spirits throughout your day!

# 2 - Have a Shower/Bath

Nothing is more relaxing than a nice long soak in the bathtub or shower with your lover after a good shag.

# 1 - Eat and Drink

The number one activity for most people after sex is eating and drinking. They are tired (hopefully), thirsty and hungry. Most people head for the kitchen to quench their thirst and replenish some calories after their love foray.

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Your Mother

nobody@vox.com(paranoid) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:45:32 +0000

One day Jr. heard a noise & peeked in his folks room 2 see his mom bent over the bed & dad going at it behind her.

Jr.'s dad saw him & gave him a wink as Jr. shut the door. After they were done, Dad went to check on Jr.

He opened Jr door to find Grandma bent over the bed & Jr. going at it. What the hell are u doing Jr.?, Dad said.

Jr. replied, "it ain't so funny when its your mother is it!...........

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So I guess this REALLY IS growing up

nobody@vox.com(Minger) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 16:34:29 +0000

First I was kicked out of my house for being myself.

Seriously, it was like a reverse after school special yelling match with the dad. "Do be miserable like everyone else! Do not stay true to yourself! Suck it up and join the masses of the lifeless! Do not be unique. Do not strive for your dreams!".

So for today's song I'm going to play the stereotypical down on your luck song. I don't feel this bad, I did not even feel this sad, but I did feel this low if that makes any sense.

Tears for Fears Mad World 1982 (Rare)

Tears for Fears' Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

I'm pretty angry at the guy and how the situation even came up. Its just a bit too personal to actually share specific details on a blog. I guess I can say that what got me in severe trouble had something to do with being a caregiver for my mom and having a father in denial that there is a serious problem. I'm not a sad, stressed out person because I like it. I want to be happy. But its hard when there is no one helping you out and its been that way ever since you could walk. I have a biological mother, but I honestly do not see her as a real mother because I know that I can not rely upon her, and its not her fault, those are the cards fate dealt her.

But when I have a perfectly normal father who does not want to be there or acts like I am not the one taking care of her... Sometimes I just can't take it.

So he kicked me out. I went out into the darkness. And by the powers of a higher nature I was not assaulted by a stranger, molested by a particular gang that lives down the street, and had just enough money to call the very few individuals that care fore me for help.

A couple days later I got into another first... My first real car accident with a live person. Yay!

The situations it occurred in were foolish. Absolutely foolish. My mother let me have access back to the cell phone and car so she could reach me and I could visit her prior to the accident. I was running an errand for a friend, a foolish one at that looking back, when I realized that I had missed a turn. When I exited the freeway I was looking at oncoming traffic waiting for a safe period to finally exit the freeway. What I did not see was that the car in front of me had not gone yet even though it was safe to go. I did not do much damage, except that my license plate left two slight button hole imprints in the middle of that edge of the bumper. In fact I'll even post the pictures up.

I guess I was lucky that it was a Toyota Prius. We exchanged info and did the whole chabang-bang. Interestingly enough she was actually going to let it go until she realized that I was the one driving, not my boyfriend. I don't know what that's about except more drama to add to my life. She also tried to get $100.00 out of me on the spot to have her covered. But there is a crap load of things that could have happened if I had actually had a bill on me, or should I say, if the boyfriend had a bill on him since she thought it was him originally, not me.

Hopefully the estimate will not be too bad and she will not even think to actually do any work.

If it had happened to me I would have let it go. In fact it has happened to me.

The worse part is I have yet to tell the padres. Wish me luck on that one!

Here are the pics:

Excuse the crappy Microsoft Paint job I did to protect her identity. She also appears to be some sort of up and coming actress. What kind of bad luck is that?

Tell me, seriously, is it that bad? I mean I understand the circumstances - the car is not pristine anymore. It has no virginal qualities outside - but is it really worth going to the shop to repair and be out of a car for a couple of days?

Seriously...Would you let me go or would you stick to me? I can handle it, though its a pretty big blow to my ego.

I have a new rule. I'm not taking friends anywhere, ever, unless their life depends on it. Not limbs but actually life. They get a stroke or a heart attack and a gun shot wound to the chest, sure, I don't mind bloody chairs. But if they get a hand or a foot cut off they are on their own.

I'm sick of being told I am too good of a person. If I take that seriously that means that the world is significantly more evil than I think it is ( and I already think its pretty bad but always filled with hope), and that everyone I know is pretty much out to get me. I don't want to be unrealistically optimistic and be the joke that makes everyone feel better about their lives.

But I feel that way sometimes, especially now.

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101 Things NOT TO SAY During Sex

nobody@vox.com(paranoid) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:33:20 +0000

1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right?
    Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the
    zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just
    steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten
    potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel.
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You'll still vote for me, won't you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who
    you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
79. Q: You can cook, too, right?
    A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really
    like... Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a
    light?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes!
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin too?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?

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Witty Wall Sayings for Bathroom Walls

nobody@vox.com(paranoid) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:31:52 +0000

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run in front of car get tired.

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Man who run behind car get exhausted.

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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

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Man with one chopstick go hungry.

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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

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Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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perfect day

nobody@vox.com(paranoid) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:16:48 +0000

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN:

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs..
1:00 Shopping with friends.
3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower. Alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN:

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Watch CNN Newsflash. Clinton resigns.
7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.

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The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

nobody@vox.com(paranoid) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:09:56 +0000

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss

The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely, V. Gina

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40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN

nobody@vox.com(paranoid) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:08:22 +0000

40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN
(Some Men Really Need To Read This)

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her
feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by
cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of
foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a
difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to
extinguish
the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you
rake
repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head
from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they
get
their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're
trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive.
They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your
tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and
thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on
the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and
West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've
ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So
start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask
her
to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along

side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they

plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep

going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the
waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant
present,
not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the
material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still
believe
that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there
than
you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in
principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried
away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of
her
vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her
and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in
the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move
toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of
buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can
do
is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an
assembly line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,
with
clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach,
the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few
seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites
of
her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the
mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina.
At
least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her
interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you
really don't know, don't ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth
down
there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her
clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about
three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to
use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes
it.
When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do
what's
necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie
there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over
them.
In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does
all
the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so
much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow
directions.
If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being
drunk
is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the
words"__to
show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring
honey
on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all
handy
props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a
Romanian
gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner
with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they
have
a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the
neck,
if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and
jaunty
scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big
turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900line.
If
she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and
she
might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a
soup kitchen.

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Intimacy and Sex Pleasure: Kamasutra #21: Standing Congress

nobody@vox.com(Adnan Bujang) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 21:21:41 +0000

Intimacy and Sex Pleasure: Kamasutra #21: Standing Congress

http://menssexual.blogspot.com/2008/0...

“When a man and a woman support themselves on each other's bodies, or on a wall, or pillar, and thus while standing engage in congress, it is called the `supported congress'.”

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Intimacy and Sex Pleasure: Having Sex on an Office Chair

nobody@vox.com(Adnan Bujang) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 19:10:18 +0000

Intimacy and Sex Pleasure: Having Sex on an Office Chair

http://menssexual.blogspot.com/2008/0...

Office chairs come in all shapes and sizes. Many managers and upper-level executives have large chairs with thick padding, while cubicle workers may have smaller chairs with partial backs and no arms. No matter what kind of office chair you have, however, it can likely be pressed into service any time you want to have sex at work.

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Kamasutra #23: Standing Rear Attack

nobody@vox.com(Adnan Bujang) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 19:08:03 +0000

Kamasutra #23: Standing Rear Attack

http://menssexual.blogspot.com/2008/0...

This position is very suitable for spontaneous urges to make love as it is able to be done just by loosening of the clothes. It is good for fast exciting sex, giving both partners the opportunity to thrust against one another.

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All inclusive ToDo List...

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 08:38:56 +0000

I don't know why but the girls being away has inspired me to get shit done. I've made a few random todo lists here and there but this one is going to be the mutha-load. All the stuff I've been putting off. All the stuff that's minor and probably shouldn't be on a ToDo list... everything.
I tried getting LIttle T to help me but I've learned that having a 9 year old as a personal assistant isn't a great idea... they're forgetful as hell!!

Get pics from Walgreen's (Done!)

Decorate wall with them

Laundry (Done! ... Plus I did all of the T's and Little T's ... Yes I'm Amazing!)
Clean (done) , clean, clean.
Attempt to organize photos.
Call/Email landlord about tub/rent. (Done!)
Mail cards. (Done!)
Convince mom to help me with computer endeavors.
Talk to Katie (Done!... She is freakishly in love!)
Check Mail. (Done!)
Find another book to read. (Done for now)
Get music to make Cd's
Organize adult stuff. (Bill type things)
Find job (I'm realizing how much I hate job hunting. Especially in this market. New Goal - 3 resumes a day)
Get gas (Done.. $12 to fill my tank! ..granted I was only 1/4 down but still!)
Register to vote. (Done!)
Pay utilities (Will be done before the end of the night... well tomorrow at the lastest)
Go to bank. (Done!)
Pick up Check/Get boxes for Alex/Get Alex's phone number (Done)
Google "Making Pizza" to find a good/kid friendly pizza making ideas (that aren't english muffin pizzas.)

I left a few empty spots for when I remember all that other shit I want to do.
Now I must go pass out like a fuck and get up early and get coffee and go watch LIttle T and some how figure out how to make cleaning my apartment fun for him.

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Hello From X Rated Smut

nobody@vox.com(xratedsmut) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 08:10:01 +0000

Hi all,

I have just been looking around this site. Wow, this must have taken some great coding and development, I am impressed!

If you got this far then you must be a smut fan too! I called it X Rated so that people should know what it's about and won't come along here and be "shocked" at what I write about. I know my friends are Smut fans too, that is why I started this blog thing.

Thanks for reading, I hope you like my posts, I am just learning the ropes so there isn't anything X Rated to put up here yet (sorry guys) but don't worry there will be soon!

TTYL

XRS

My latest posts:

New Daily Galleries

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Sensorship

nobody@vox.com(paranoid) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 14:13:23 +0000

Code Provided by theYNC.com

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Fanfiction

nobody@vox.com(Dae) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 06:10:37 +0000

Fanfiction
READ IT.
It's incredible. When I'm an author, I want to be half that good. Read it, Brel.

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Freedom Sale!

nobody@vox.com(Hustler jack) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:13:25 +0000

Hey Yo!

Hustler Jack here, the official ambassador for Hustler Hollywood. I wanted to let you guys in on the inside scoop!

Hustler Hollywood stores in Ft. Lauderdale, Lexington, Monroe, Nashville, New Orleans, San Diego, St. Louis, Hollywood, and Tacoma are having a MASSIVE Freedom Sale BLOWout through the remainder of July - Clothing - SEXY Lingerie - Shoes - LUBE - Naughty Toys - and MUCH MUCH more!!!

My favorite part of the sale is the $5 DVDs. Now you can buy all the porn you want, and still have money left over for drive thru dinner! MMM classy!

There's no catch, no "just sign here's", no bullcrap! Just click, download, print and go! Take your hubby, maybe your girly, potential interest, or treat yourself! https://ambassador.sharefile.com/d-s55cc607caa444fea

Everyone loves Hustler, even if they don't admit it. What are you waiting for!??! Get going!!! Oh and one more thing ...

Relax! It's just sex.

Peace,

Hustler Jack

Official Hustler Hollywood Ambassador

jackyoung@ymail.com

My deepest apologies are extended to those who are appauled by this message... bad jack...*slaps hand*

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i forgot to mention

nobody@vox.com(Ger) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:21:05 +0000

I turned 18 last Saturday

i was planning to spend the whole day at Barnes & Noble reading with a friend
but
she gave me a crappy excuse to accompany her to a friend's house who was out of town
turns out
she wasn't out of town
they had set up a "surprise" get together for me
(Jessica can be sooo transparent sometimes ^_^)

it was fun!
we had Velvet cake
strawberry pie
pizza
soda
and candy

we played tag
and twister at a nearby park
they bought me a pinata
and we kicked the shit out of it lynching style
(it raped ma dah'ter!)

it was incredibly nice of them
the bitches suck at surprises though XD

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Los Angeles Strip Clubs. Why Do the good ones close????????

nobody@vox.com(Los Angeles Escort and Dancers) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 19:33:09 +0000

Los Angeles Strippers and Los Angeles Escorts

I was sad to find out that one of my favorite Los Angeles Strip Clubs Closed down. There were two Fritz Clubs in the Los Angeles area now there is only one. As far as I am concerned they had the best female strippers in the Los Angeles area.

Amazing ebony escort in Los Angeles

I am the perfect GFE. Once you have a taste of me you will never go to anyone else. I am exotic beautifully tanned caramel skin and a down to earth personality that will either put you to ease and/or blow your mind.

Los Angeles Escorts provided by Eros Los Angeles

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Lena Li

nobody@vox.com(D.V.O.) — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 23:26:13 +0000

Lena Li on WikiPedia

Lena Li on MySpace

visit the Lena Li UnOfficial FanSite

check out the Official Lena Li WebSite @ LENALI.TV

tags: lena li, playboy, playboy magazine, myspace

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